My Broken Bowl

Dom Please

After we had sex the first time, life was so amazing. We made out a lot and had sex a lot too. Alex was always ready. I got a little more experimental with my underwear which Alex loved. He started buying me more lace and lingerie. When we were out, I was his baby girl and when we were in private I was his baby boy. He loved keeping my secret.

Six months into dating Alex, he asked me to marry him. It was probably fast but I was absolutely in love. He was a master in bed too and I felt so lucky. We talked about things and he mentioned learning to be a dom. I was absolutely on board. He had some friends who were in the dom world and were willing to teach us.

My educator was a sub from our friend's relationship. His name was John and he was a wonderful teacher. He started with the basics. I have no intention of getting into it but I did enjoy it.

Alex made a perfect dom. He was exactly what I needed and I had no idea that I did need him.

All of this time, Cay stayed out of our relationship. We tried to live our own lives but I'm sure she knew I was happy so she stayed quiet and out of our lives. I was alone with my dom.

Cay and I weren't very close by this time and I had every intention of ignoring her for the rest of my life. I wanted to grow old with Alex and that was my plan. My life was really happy.

Alex was in his last year in art school and his first year student teaching. His life was going as planned and I was there for him.

I fucked up once. I worked for a law firm and after long nights of working and weeks away from Alex, I fucked up. I kissed a coworker. I did it and I took responsibility. I told Alex.

I paced in our living room waiting for him to get home. He walked in and I blurted it out. "I kissed a guy at work!" I felt horrible.

Alex sighed. "I kissed my art model." He plopped on the couch.

I sat too. We both cheated.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked me.

"I don't know!" I didn't have a clue. Something was wrong. We lived together and I worked too much and he was always away with school stuff.

"My mom asked if we wanted to move in with them?" Alex was serious.

We lived in a cute one bedroom apartment but to save money so I didn't have to work my guys out, we moved out into the country... With his parents.

My mom was not thrilled but I was living the life I wanted. I was with Alex and we were working on things. We realized we had stopped dating and talking. It was always work and home and sleep. We didn't go out or laugh together. It was like we were business partners and we fixed it.

Living with his parents gave us some financial freedom and I was able to work part time. Alex was almost done with art school. He was one month from his degree when it happened.

I won't get into it but he was late getting home, I mean hours late. My first reaction was that he was cheating on me. I had that fear. When he walked through the door, I knew something was wrong. If I had known this would be the last time I would speak with him, I would have chosen something better. But I told him to go get some sleep and feel better. He was pale and sweating when he walked into the house.

Alex collapsed in the kitchen and had an aneurysm that night. We met the ambulance at the hospital. It snowed that night. We waited for hours in the waiting room. I sat in a chair watching the snow fall out of a large window.

The doctor said he was in a coma. We sat beside him for seventy-two hours. I didn't leave the hospital and barely ate. I focused all of my life on that line that was his heart beating.

It's a longer story that would trigger me but he died there in that bed. His parents signed papers to unplug the machine with my consent. I watched the love of my life pass away.

************************************************************************

A/N: This is life.... Hold on. I will announce that I survive. Thanks for reading.

(Twenty some years later and I still cry like it was yesterday. I'm taking a break.)