My Broken Bowl

My Bio Dad Rewind

A/N: This is skipping around a little...but I wanted to add this rewind chapter and had no idea where to put it so I made it's own chapter! Enjoy!

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This is a bit of information on the bio Dad, Saul. I have ignored him while we were away. I was just sick of his shit and of being unloved and unappreciated. I was always there for him and he couldn't care less about me. My adopted mom said that she thought he loved me but I had serious doubts. He did prove me right in the end and now I have anger issue with him that I can never resolve. That's for later in the story I guess...

My bio dad died while we were in Colorado also. I missed it but it was during the whole Covid fiasco. It was during the time when no one could travel and everyone was quarantined. I couldn't go.

We had been writing back and forth. We had basically put a bandaid on our relationship but it was never healed. I regret that we couldn't fix it. But we still talked. My dad lived in the 1800's when there was only mail so we wrote letters. He didn't own a phone, landline or cell. He barely had electricity.

Once a month, I received letters and I looked forward to it. He would write and I would write, mostly about the girls. He loved them. The last letter was in May. He said he was sick. I sent one back asking if he was okay but he never replied.

My mom called Dean and told him that my dad had died. He told me. It was a very tough time for me. We had nothing resolved and it was too late. I couldn't fix it or talk to him or be angry with him. He was gone. My anger filled me and there was nothing I could do. I was angry at a dead guy.

I guess I'll explain the history of us. I had left him out of the story to give him his own chapter. I wanted to do it this way.

A/N: This story isn't going to flow and have my normal style. I couldn't make it work. I'm not even sure that this works. Comment if you like. You know, I had other books...hell I wrote a couple of them in one day! This one I can't seem to organize. Okay... Onward...

Let's go back. After my precious father disowned me for keeping the abomination (it was the nicest name he called Ariel). I never saw him again and never intended to.

When Ariel was two, I saw my bio dad again, Saul. He was out logging when a tree landed on him. He was seriously injured but still alive. My cousin told me so I found myself heading straight there.

I visited him at the hospital. This was at the time when I was a single parent working nights; Two years before I met Dean. I spent the day with my dad and I was nervous the whole time. I think I switch to Cady at some point because I don't remember most of that visit. Shrug...

He met Ariel for the first time. To my surprise, he loved her. They sat in the hospital bed and shared popsicles. It was cute. I never thought that Ariel would get to meet him. It took two years and a tree but they met.

Believe it or not, he was so sweet with her. Ariel has a way of making people love her. She's got this personality that is so amazing and hilarious and explosive. She's an absolute treasure.

Bio Dad laughed a lot in her presence. It took four months but my dad made a full recovery. He had broken both of his legs close to his hips and had some internal injuries that required surgery but he was home and walking around in four months. I was like what! He was a rock star.

While he was in hospital care, I helped him. I cleaned his house, fed the deer, nightly. I opened bank accounts for him and got him some financial help and gave him a pedicure. He actually liked it. I made sure his feet didn't suffer from being in bed for a long time.

Every time we visited, he made sure a nurse brought Ariel a popsicle. I didn't get one but she did and that was all that mattered. They had a bond and I was happy. I saw him regularly after that time and then when I met Dean, we went over. They hit it off and spent time shooting guns. My dad wanted all male attention that wasn't me. I'm still angry at him so just bear with me!

So, after we had the three girls, Saul was still involved. He visited and was a good grandpa. We went to his house once a week to help mow the grass and garden. He was teaching the girls about plants. I was happy.

Until...

The idiot, dipshit, showed up. Damn it. I'll explain...

We talked about building a house on his 150 acres so we could be close and help him. We even had a quote on a house and land to put it. We had a spot picked out. We had everything ready and flagged off. I could even see it. I could see us living there. That place was my home and I could see us living there and my kids growing up there. Hell, Delilah was still a baby at the time.

My dad ... (I had to pause for a couple of hours, I had to inhaled while writing this...) He gave me an envelope when I got there. I mean we had plans that were almost finalized. We were so close to my dream since I left that place when I was eight. I was sooo close to going back home. So close.

I opened the paper. It was a deed to the land. The whole 150 acres. Mind you I just wanted ten acres for our house. It was required for the builders. So, he just handed me his land...but not. It had my name and dipshit's name... Who wasn't even his fucking kid!

That dipshit hadn't set foot on this property in like twenty years! He hadn't had any contact with my dad. My dad hated him while we were living there. My dad used to beat him all the time. He would cuss him out and hated him... And his name was on the deed...with mine. I couldn't even be happy. I couldn't share land with him and it crushed me.

I didn't care about the money or the land. I just wanted to come home. It was always home. It was the one place that I felt comfortable. I could relax and just exist. I could live and breathe. It was my sanctuary. I grew up with so many happy memories there. And I was losing it.

I had to contact him (dipshit).

After 24 years, I had to contact him. I told my dad I was splitting the land. It killed me. Growing up, my dad always walked me around the whole property and gave me a speech.

QUOTE: "This will all be yours someday so get to know it..."

All the time. He filled my head with this knowledge and now...it was a lie.