My Broken Bowl

Suck It Up

I avoided his line for a few days but to be honest, it affected my mood. I was grouchy and short with everyone. I missed talking to him....her. Fuck! I still wasn't sure. I almost didn't care. Today, I was going through his/her line. Fuck it.

I did. I had my sandwich and hesitated but grabbed three bags of M&Ms. I missed a few days. I watched as she/he rang me up and gave me the total. His voice was music to my ears.

"Hey!" He smiled. "How are you! It's been a few days!"

I smiled. "Good. I'm good. Sorry I didn't see you. I've been busy." Thinking about what was wrong with me...

Cayden nodded. "It's fine. I'm always here so no worries. That is a lot of candy!" He smiled at the three bags.

My soul was still his. Hers. Who gave a fuck? I smiled. "Those are for you. I fucked up and I'm making up for it. Enjoy. See you." I winked and walked off while she/he smiled the most gorgeous smile. Damn it. I was fucked.

I met the cousin Steve was talking about. Her name was Angel. She explained that Cayden was a guy...sometimes.

"What in the fuck does that mean?" I was stumped.

So, I found out a little.

"He prefers being called she. She likes being called Cayden. She's weird and quiet." Angel stated.

I was more curious and had to get to know her...him. Damn it.

I had to learn about her...him. Cayden. Our schedules were on the employee hallway wall so I checked for her schedule. How many Caydens could there be?

Just one Cayden. The schedule had the first name and four letters of your last name. CaydenHay. I didn't know his last name...her last name. Fuck, I just didn't know!

She worked on Saturday and I had groceries to buy. I had talked about her to my cousin and his wife, Stacy and she wanted to see him...her. I called Cayden 'her' around my family. I wasn't gay.

We shopped and got lucky. Cayden's line was empty as we walked up. She was so focused on the items that she didn't see me until I was paying. "Find everything okay?" She smiled at me.

I smiled. "Always. I found you." I winked again and she blushed and giggled. It was so damn cute. I swear. "This is my cousin, Stacy and my son, Arizona."

Cayden smiled at them, greeted Stacy and smiled at Arizona. "Did you get any candy?" She talked to him.

He smiled and nodded. He held up a beef stick because he preferred that over chocolate. He never cared for sweets. He was like me.

"Good." Cayden smiled softer. "You are so cute you deserve two of everything!"

I was in love.

"So, is she your wife?" Cayden asked.

"No, cousin. She needed some things too so she came with me. And she was checking you out for me. I tend to find losers." I smiled at her.

Cayden blushed. "Now, I'm worried that I'm a loser." She looked at the counter. "I have a kid so I might be!"

"You could never be a loser!" I assured her.

She chuckled. "Your family has disappeared." She looked in the direction that Stacy went with Arizona.

"No worries. I have the keys!" I raised them up and smiled. "Have a great day, Cady." I winked at her and walked away.

I turned to see her smiling and blushing like I planned. It took a second to gather herself as the next customer walked up. She dropped the butter as I chuckled. She glared at me and began scanning products as I left. My day was complete. She was a girl. I was sure of that. I called her Cady and she didn't seem to care.