My Broken Bowl

Wanna Wear A Chair?

Long stupid story short...I had to meet with the dipshit's lawyer and our lawyer to finish this splitting the land thing. It was involved and stupid. I was already over it. So, we were told that the dipshit would be on a conference call so whatever.

He was in the room when we walked in. The dipshit was there and fat, Like Michelin tire man fat. I felt so great about myself.

Dusk didn't like this at all and hated that fucker. His words. He was fuming in the back and very distracting. Dusk was usually very restrained and polite but not around dipshit... Dusk made up curse words while we were sitting there.

Also a side note, I can't co-front with Dusk. If he's out, I'm not. I also can't switch with him unless he forces a takeover. I have to go through either Cady or Roman to switch with Dusk. Meaning, Roman, for example, would have to co-front, I would have to give control to him and then he could switch out with Dusk. I don't know why. It's the same with the little. I can't switch with her either.

But during this meeting, Dusk was very close. He was watching and listening and I could hear him cursing. I could feel him very close to the front and I can't explain that with any other words. Sorry.

I was rude and short with everyone in that room. I needed to be notified that he was in the room but nope. Surprise. I don't fucking like surprises. Dean held my hand the whole time though. He knew the whole thing... Well, he knew about it. To be fair, I don't remember the whole thing, Dusk keeps those memories away from me, hidden and safe.

Towards the end of the fucking meeting was when it happened. Dean talked to him. Let's call him dipshit. So dipshit was talking back and they were arguing. Then dipshit smirked and I couldn't handle it.

"Don't smirk at my husband. Fuck no! Get 'em Dusk!" (inner dialog)

Dusk was up. He took over with blind anger. He stood. "This meeting is over and you..." He glared at dipshit. "Are not to talk to my husband." He picked up the office chair, like a heavy one, over his head. "This meeting is over."

For a moment, I thought Dusk was going to kill dipshit with the chair and he was across the table. I was all for it. I would sleep like a baby in my jail cell. But he refrained. He sat the chair down and walked out of the room. That took a lot of self control and I gave props to Dusk. I was ready to serve prison time.

As Dusk stormed out, he leaned into dipshit and whispered. "I'll knock out more than just a tooth this time." And left in style. That is my man! (I only heard all of this later... I blacked out during this event as soon as Dusk took over.)

Dean stopped and stated that he wouldn't mind going to prison for the cause. He was amazing!

So, we got the land split up. And my dad decided he didn't want us to live there. What happened? I have no idea to this day. I shrug. No idea. I'm sure dipshit was a factor.

So, we went from planning, like my dad was involved and helping. He even picked the house and the area we should move to. It was down the road a bit and that would also give him some privacy. So, we went from almost moving there to having half the land that I couldn't even enjoy. I couldn't be dipshit's neighbor. He wasn't safe with kids and he wasn't laying an eyeball on mine. I would kill him... or Dusk would but either way, we were going to prison.

I tried not to let this cause a rift between me and Saul. I tried. This was around the same time I found another Alter or personality. This situation caused another personality. Great. I was going fucking crazy!

This personality was a 17 year old boy named Roman. (Also not his name and I think that you met him already. I see that he added to the story!). I got to know him and he was sweet and funny. Roman was snarky and angsty but he is a teen so...but he was great with the kids and helped us around the house. Also, I'm not sure if it was this incident or having Iris... It could be a bit of both. Both events were close to Roman showing up. I may never know.

So, we had our three girls. Ariel, Iris and Delilah were our babies. Cady, Roman and I were the three alters that were out most. Our little was shy and Dusk wasn't coming out until he was needed, which was less lately.

So, things settled back down and we lived our lives for a few years after that crappy incident with dipshit and I left him behind. Never again would I have to deal with him. It was a relief. I guess that's what I had to pay to get past him. He is no longer a thought for me and he creates no feelings for me. I don't feel anything for him. I have no idea how. Even now, I don't hate him or anything... I feel absolutely nothing.

I put it behind me and enjoyed time being a stay at home mom. We all did. Our kids called us mom if there was any question about that. Still do. No matter who we were, we were a mom.

After ten years in our country farmhouse, we moved to Colorado and after five years there, we moved to Nebraska. Back to Dean's hometown. His mom lived there and we wanted the kids to know her better. We needed our family.

And here we are.

I have shortened a lot of our lives but it would have been a way longer book. Our life is moving now of course. Ariel is college bound in a few months, Iris is in middle school, almost high school and Delilah is almost in middle school. Our babies are growing up.

We also recently got a new alter who is 13 years old. She is a sweetie. We are still getting to know her. She appeared about a year after my father died. I didn't deal with that very well and here we are with that. I don't deal with my feelings very well and I'm working on it.