Ice cold desire || S. Rogers x Reader

Part 27

Readers pov:

I didn't get any sleep that night. I was just thinking about all the people I had taken out. No. murdered. All their faces and voices. They would never get their lives back because of me. Never see their families. I'm a horrible person.

I didn't want to get out of bed so I just laid there with my thoughts. Until Natasha came in at about 10 in the morning.

"How are you?" she asked carefully with a small smile.

"How can i really be when i just found out everything i have done has been a lie."

She reached out a hand. "Come with me."

I didn't care enough to argue so I took her hand and she dragged me out of bed and out in the hallway. We took the elevator down to the kitchen where the team was sitting, eating pancakes.

"Y/N, want some breakfast?" Tony asked once I stepped inside.

"No." I said flatly.

"You should eat." Bruce noted.

"And risk throwing up? No thanks."

Steve sighed and looked up at me. "You didn't know you were working for hydra Y/N."

"Doesn't make up for the people I murdered."

Natasha turned to me. "We all have our kills. You thought you were doing good, that's what matters."

"Whatever." I mumbled and sat down. "When can we end the soul takers?"

Natasha sat down next to me and sighed. "I don't think you should be a part of that."

"What? No, I have to, they tricked me. I want revenge."

"Yes exactly, they tricked you. Who knows who else is a part of them and doesn't know they are doing bad? We can't have you kill them out of rage." Steve spoke up.

"Fine. but i wanna take out magnus. That's my kill." I compromised.

Tony pointed at me, "now that you can do. He's clearly a fucking dick."

"Worst is, I thought he was my friend." I sighed. "He was always so kind to me, i don't understand how he can be a bad guy."

Bruce took off his glasses and looked at me. "Some people are good at pretending."

I sighed. "I wanna apologize." I started.

"No there is no nee-" Bruce started before I interrupted.

"I want to. I never meant to hurt any of you. I felt like I wasn't good enough for the team so I left. I shouldn't have acted so immature, so I'm sorry." I looked at everyone trying to read their expressions.

"We were never mad at you Y/N. The plan was never to take you down, we wanted to save you." Bucky explained.

"I'm thankful for that, I really am. If it's not too late I would love to get back on the team." I asked with a worried expression, waiting for their answers.

"Oh thank god!" Tony yelled and ran around the table and hugged me making me chuckle. "I need someone else who's as smart as me to talk to, I'm starting to go crazy."

"Alright settle down stark." I laughed.

I heard my phone ding, signaling a text message so I pulled it out to read it. As soon as I saw the sender my face fell and I felt my lungs struggling to take in enough air. Everyone noticed immediately and asked about it.

"Magnus wants me to come to his office to go over last night's mission."

I saw the others give each other looks so I raised an eyebrow.

"You should go in and say the mission went well. If he thinks you're still on his side we could use that to our advantage." Natasha explained.

"So I go in and pretend nothings wrong?"

"Basically."

"I'll go get ready at my apartment then." I stood up.

Steve also stood up and walked around the table to me. "I'll drive you since you don't have your car here."

I didn't really want to spend more time with Steve but he had a point so I accepted. We drove to my apartment in silence and I got out of the car without saying a word. I unlocked my door and changed into some jeans and a t-shirt before taking my own car to the soul takers.

I went inside the building and headed to magnus' office.

"Hey there." he greeted with a smile. Fucking asshole.

"Hey. the mission went well, i took the guy out. Some people did spot me but I got outta there." I told him.

"Great, that's great. He didn't say anything?" he asked and I saw a sweat drop go down his forehead. Now I know he's hiding something for sure.

"He said some things but nothing that really interests me." I smirked.

"Really?"

"Yup. was that all?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll contact you if I get another mission."

I nodded and walked out of his office and my expression immediately turned to anger. I'm going to kill him.

I didn't have much to do so I decided to head to the tower to spend some time with nat. I've really missed her. I walked into the living room and saw her sitting in front of the tv.

"Ooh modern family, yess." I jumped over the couch landing next to her.

She let out a small chuckle. "Glad to see you back here Y/N."

We watched the show for about an hour before Sam, Bucky and Steve walked in and sat down next to us. I saw Steve looking at me but I ignored it.

"So Y/N, does this mean you're back to living at the tower?" Sam asked with a hopeful face.

"Nah magnus would notice me not being at my apartment. I'm just gonna hang here occasionally."

"Speaking of him, did he believe nothing was wrong?" Bucky asked. I just gave him a nod before bringing my attention back to the tv.

About 2 weeks later I was walking into magnus' office but stopped right outside the door when I heard talking inside.

"And nightshade?" an unfamiliar voice said.

"She has no idea. She's honestly dumb for not knowing that the soul takers really are hydra. When we are done with the threats I'll just have her eliminated too." I heard Magnus say before he looked at the slightly open door, seeing me standing there with a shocked expression. His face immediately dropped and he ran to the door and stood in front of me.

"Y/N wait i can explain-" he started.

"No, I've heard enough. You fucking lied to me magnus, you used me. I'm done." I glared at him before walking away. I heard him yell after me but I didn't care. Of course I already knew about all those things but he didn't know that. I was finally done with the soul takers. Now all i had to do was kill magnus.