Ice cold desire || S. Rogers x Reader

Part 31

Readers pov:

I was shaking, sitting on the jet on our way back to New york. Steve sat down beside me and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. I muttered a small thanks before looking up at bucky who sat across from me with a guilty expression.

"I'm not mad at you." I started. "You didn't have control, you didn't kill them. Hydra did."

"I'm still so sorry Y/N."

"Please let's just not talk about this please." I sighed.

Steve wrapped an arm around me and leaned down to my ear. "Are you okay?"

I gave him a tiny smile before answering, "as ok as i can be. Thank you."

We finally arrived at the tower and I started walking towards my room but I heard Steve calling out my name so I turned around.

"I'll hang out with you so you don't have to be alone." he smiled.

"No, don't worry about it, I'll be fine."

"Please, I insist."

"Steve, I'd rather be alone." I tried to tell him.

"I don't want you to be though."

"Steve, I'm telling you to go away." I was starting to get annoyed.

"Y/N seriously it's no problem to keep you company."

I had finally had enough. "GOD CAN'T YOU LISTEN?! I dont want you here why do you care so fucking much."

"I care because I love you." his eyes widened once he realized what he had said.

I was stunned. "What...?"

"I- i mean that i..." he stuttered.

"You love me?" I asked quietly.

"Yes." he sighed. "But I know you don't want anything serious so I'm fine with whatever you want."

This man was so caring. "Steve i-"

"You don't feel the same way, yeah i know." he said while looking at the floor.

"You're right. I don't love you...yet." I started. "I don't know you that well, sure I like you but I'm not ready to say "I love you". How about we start with a date instead?" I asked.

Steve gave me a big smile. "How about I take you dancing tomorrow night at 8?" he asked hopefully.

"Sounds great." I smiled back at him. "Now I really want to be alone right now, ok?"

He nodded with a small smile before walking away. I went into my room and went straight to bed, and I slept for about an hour before Natasha walked in.

"Y/N, wake up." she shaked me until my eyes opened.

"What?" I asked groggily.

"How are you feeling?" She sat down on my bed.

"Confused, reliefied, sad, angry. All the emotions." I chuckled.

"That's understandable. Which is why I'm taking you out to drink." She grabbed my hand and dragged me out of bed.

"Do I have to?" I whined.

"Yes we are gonna get drunk. So put on a dress and let go."

I got dressed and we walked down to a bar a few blocks down from the tower.

"Four tequila shots please." Natasha said to the bartender.

We slammed down the shots and started talking.

"So you're not mad at barnes?" Natasha slurred after a lot more shots.

"No, I mean, I actually feel bad for him." I said, equally slurred speech. "I mean he didn't have a choice, he was forced to do those things."

"You're a good person, nightshade. Oh, I like that. Nightshade. It sounds bad ass." Natasha giggled.

"Yeah me too, makes me sound like an actual avenger."

She gasped, "you are an actual avenger Y/N, don't tell yourself anything different." She grabbed me and pulled me into a hug.

"I think we have had a bit too much to drink. Let's get a cab back to the tower." I said.

She waved me off. "No dont worry ill just call bucky."

After about 4 minutes of waiting outside, Bucky pulled up and we got in the back. Once inside I saw Steve sitting in the passenger seat smiling at me.

"Buckyyy, thank you for picking us up." I giggled.

"Ok you two have had a lot to drink, let's get you back to your rooms." he said back.

We drove back while me and Natasha sang along (badly) to the songs on the radio, making Steve and Bucky chuckle.

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT!" I screamed along to the song.

"SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT!" Natasha screamed back.

"I WANNA I WANNA!"

"I WANNA I WANNA!"

"I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA ZIGAZIG UH!" We yelled together before we started laughing and leaning onto each other.

We arrived at the tower and the boys helped us out of the car and into the elevator.

"Let's get you girls to your rooms." Bucky said, making both me and nat whine.

"We don't want toooo." Natasha said.

"Yeah we wanna watch modern family." I said back.

Bucky and Steve looked at each other before Steve shrugged. "Well supervise them."

They got us onto the couch and clicked on netflix before passing the remote so we could put on the show.

"Steve, get over here." I said and he walked over and sat down next to me. I wrapped my arm around his waist before laying my head on his shoulder. Steve smiled softly down at me before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me closer to his chest. I felt myself growing tired, and I quickly fell asleep to his heartbeat.