Sunsets and Broken Promises (SPADE Series #1)

Chapter 25

The familiar beeping monitor, cold temperature of the room, and the plain white ceiling— I'm here at the Samson's private hospital. My right hand is covered in white cloth up until to my arm, and for some reason, I can't feel anything, my whole body is numb. I can't move anything. I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Why am I still alive? who saved me from the fire? where is every body? where's dad? what happened to the house? Kaizer's flowers? where's mom? how is she? sila Chanel?

I want to see them. I'm desperate to see them. I want him to comfort me. I want my mom to hold my hand. I want my friends to cheer me up.

The corner of my eyes are starting to burn, my throat feels heavy, and I can't utter a single word with my condition. I feel weak, disabled, and useless. Is this what the heaven wants? to make me feel stupid and hideous? I'm suppose to be in the university, studying hard for my father's appreciation— is that too much to ask?

Why does this keeps happening to me?

Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras akong nakatingin sa kisame, walang tao ang pumapasok sa kwarto ko kaya naman hindi ko maiwasang kabahan. What in the world happened while I was unconscious?

I'm drowning in a pool of silence. I can't hear anything. I'm cold. I'm scared. I'm going insane. I'm going to lose myself. I'm losing myself. I need someone to accompany me. The screams of my father, the sound of the burning flowers, my desperate screams, and the wounds all over my body; they are suddenly invading my mind. I'm afraid. Help. Help. Help me. Someone, please.

I want to die. I want to kill myself. I want to die. Please let me die already. Let me end my sufferings. Why does this keeps happening to me. What did I do wrong? saan ako nag kulang?

All of a sudden, the doctors came rushing to my room and tried to hold me down from the bed. I didn't noticed that I was getting out of my bed for help. They are all screaming in panic but their voices. . . their voices sounds so far.

"Ms. Vanciello! Ms. Vanciello calm down!"

A hand reached my neck which caused me to panic. I started going wild, trying to remove their hands on my body— the familiar feeling of my dad abusing me is coming back. A slight of touch from stranger makes me irk, makes me infuriate, makes me enrage. . . it forces me to remember every sufferings I've experienced.

"Ms. Vanciello! please refrain yourself!"

I screamed in pain when they tried to tie me in my bed. I'm a complete mess. Everything is scary. Everyone is scary. Everyone reminds me of my Dad. They are going to hurt me— they are just like my dad.

"Doc! hindi 'ho namin mapigilan sila Ms. Chanel!" the nurse informed the doctors who are busy trying to calm me down.

"Get them away from here, never let them witness Ms. Vanciello's condition!"

One of the doctors pulled out a syringe which eventually pulled a trigger on me. I screamed for help, I screamed as loud as I could. Get me out of here! I want to run away! I'm scared! please someone save me!

"Doc. Santos, please remove the syringe!"

"But this is a way to make her calm down!"