Sunsets and Broken Promises (SPADE Series #1)

Chapter 49

TW: mental disorders are mentioned in this chapter and may trigger someone.

"Engineer, are you okay? you look tired"

Tanong agad ni Noelle nang makalabas kami sa prisinto. It took me almost 10 minutes talking to my father about Kaizer, and it seems like Yuri wasn't lying about his condition. What she and my father said connects with each other, Kaizer did have a certain mental illness when I left the Philippines, and I'm dying to know more.

"Noelle, can you go to my old house and grab the letters?" tanong ko nang makapasok kami sa loob ng kotse.

"Letters? what letters?"

"One of my helpers will immediately give you all the letters once you told them that you're my assistant" I massaged my temples, still bothered by my interaction with Yuri and Dad.

Both of them told me the same thing—that Kaizer suffered a huge loss after I left the Philippines, but how huge did he experience for them to pity him like that? Nag hirap din naman ako pero sa huli, ay siya ang mas nag mukhang kawawa. The only thing that will answer my question is by reading his letters. However, that also means that I'm test my courage again. Hindi ako sigurado kung magiging okay ba ako kapag nabasa ko lahat ang mga sulat niya.

I'm afraid that I might pity him instead of myself.

Gabi na nang makauwi si Noelle galing sa bahay namin ni Mama dala ang isang malaking plastic bag na hinila nalang neto papunta dito sa apartment. Hindi ako kumain o umalis dito sa living room, talagang hinintay ko itong makarating ulit.

"Engineer, what's up with these letters? are you going to read them all?"

Nilagay neto sa harapan ko ang plastic at pagod na naupo sa tabi ko dito sa sofa. "Yes. I'm sorry for making you go back to our house for the letters" sabi ko at binuksan ang plastic. "But I still have one favor to ask,"

Umupo nang maayos si Noelle. "What is it? I will help you with anything"

I bit my lower lip and stared at the papers inside the plastic. "Help me organize these papers. Chronological order"

Nakaupo kaming dalawa sa sahig. Si Noelle ang nag-aayos ng mga papel habang ako naman yung taga-basa. It took us couple of minutes to find the first letter from Kaizer. The paper still smells like him even after all these years. . .

1

I finally have the courage to write you a letter, sorry it took me long, Mahal ko. I don't know where to start, I don't know where did I went wrong. It's September 23, 2016, almost four months after you left. I already started my semester in Ephraim together with Jett, Akari, and Charles—it feels surreal to wake up everyday without seeing you. My heart feels empty. It's as if someone took away my ability to see light.

Kailan ka uuwi, Mahal ko? please come home, come back.

2

September 24, 2016, writing this as soon as I woke up, hoping to see you in front of me. What are you doing right now? kumain ka na ba? okay ka lang ba diyan, Mahal ko? did you find someone else? are you happy? without me?