Sunsets and Broken Promises (SPADE Series #1)

Chapter 54

It's already November 23, but Kaizer's bruises hasn't healed yet, it was also stated by one of his friends in the hospital that he's having a hard time moving around in the operating room, which concerns them. Meanwhile, Killian decided to distance himself from me. Hindi ko alam kung nasaan ito ngayon at kung ano ang ginagawa niya, as much as I wanted to see him, Kaizer's situation is already too much to handle.

"You don't have to do this, Rene"

Nabalik ako sa reyalidad dahil kay Kaizer na kasalukuyang nakaupo sa harapan ko, pinagmamasdan akong mag lagay ng gamot sa mga pasa niya.

"The nurses here are talented enough to help me heal. May trabaho ka mamayang hapon, diba?" tanong neto kaya napailing ako.

My hands immediately stopped moving when I finally got to the part where the bruises are much more brutal than the others. I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes shut, tired of doing this routine every day.

"Rene? are you okay? what happened?" Kaizer held my hands. "Did something happen to you? do you have a headache? stomachache? migraine? or maybe--"

I cut him off, "Kaizer" I opened my eyes and stared at his face filled with worries. "Are you still hoping that we'd be together again?" Natigilan ito sa biglaang tanong ko.

The situation between Kaizer and Killian wasn't the only thing that keeps bothering me for the past few days. The thought of getting back together with Kaizer after 12 years of not seeing each other feels off. And if I were to be honest, I still have some lingering feelings for him and that may get in the way of my life.

I don't want to experience that feeling again. The issue about my father, the divorcement of my parents, and our break-up left a huge damage that can't be healed immediately. I'm still traumatize until now.

"Look," I sat more comfortably in front of Kaizer who is still shock. "I don't want to create a misunderstanding between us. To be frank, I don't think getting back together with you isn't going to happen, Kaizer. I've been thinking about this for the past few days, no matter how much I force myself to imagine a life with you. . . all it brings me is pain--"

"Cyrena," I was stunned when Kaizer chuckles in front of me, it's as if he finds our situation funny. "What are you talking about?"

"Huh?" I asked, confused by his behavior.

"This," he taps the table with his index finger. "Can you please explain to me why you think getting back together is a bad idea?" Kaizer asks politely.

I let out a sigh again, but this time it's more like a sigh of relief. I forced a small smile and faced Kaizer directly. "Kaizer, out of all the people I've met, I know that you're one of the few friends I have that truly knows how much I've suffered these past few years, especially when my father. . ." mas naging seryoso ang itsura naming dalawa sa sinabi ko. "I lost my father when he abused me. I lost my identity as a Vanciello and you know that. Right now, I'm still healing from the past, and dealing with you now is overwhelming in a way that I don't know what to do anymore,"

"I am beyond grateful for everything that you have done for me, but all I can give you now is my presence. I can't go back to the way I used to be, Kaizer. I can't imagine giving myself to you again, because I'm afraid to lose everything once more. I like you, but that's all I have. I really, really, like you, so much that I have to do this" my voice heightened as I try to prevent my tears from falling in front of Kaizer who is currently looking at me fondly.