Sunsets and Broken Promises (SPADE Series #1)

Chapter 40.5

Kaizer raised his hand and was about to hold me, but I took a step backward away from him. Scared that he might hug me and never let me go, I shook my head lightly and let the tears fall to my cheeks.

"P-Please let me be, Kaizer. Gusto kong mag-isip muna, please. . ."

". . .I can't let you do that, Cyrena," Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita ang unti-unting pag tulo nang mga luha niya. Nanginginig ang mga labi, namumula ang tenga, at hindi mapakali na mga kamay.

"Aalis ka?"

My heart sunk to my stomach and felt like my world has stopped spinning when I saw Kaizer's facial expression. He looks betrayed, angry, and sad. He looks disappointed at me. It's as if he's about to break. "Tangina Cyrena, aalis ka ba?" tanong niya ulit. "Iiwan mo ako?"

Unti-unti akong umiling. "H-Hindi ko alam ang pinagsasabi mo, Kaizer---"

He took a fistful of his hair and irritatedly clenched it, it's as if he wants to rip off his own hair from frustration. Kaizer lowered his head for a minute, taking a deep breathe. As soon as our eyes met he immediately fixed his posture and approached me with his eyes covered in sadness.

"Aalis ka?" My heart broke into pieces, hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko sakaniya, I don't want him to know about me leaving the Philippines but, not telling him that makes me feel despair.

Hearing him ask me that makes me feel desperate to stay here. Kaizer already knows. There's nothing left for me to hide. There's nothing left inside me. "Oo, after graduation" For the first time in my entire life, I saw him sob in front of me, he held my hand as if he's scared that I might disappear. He lowered his head again, tears falling down and loud sobs that fills both of my ears.

"Wag mo akong iwan"

I took a deep breathe and shut my eyes tightly. "Kaizer, that's impossible, kailangan kong umalis"

"Why didn't you tell me Cyrena? bakit hindi mo ako sinabihan? may plano ka bang sabihin sa akin 'to?" I bit my lower lip from uttering a word. "Cyrena, ayaw mo na ba sa akin?" Tinignan itong umiyak sa harapan ko, namumula ang kaniyang mga mata at pisngi, hindi na ito makahinga nang maayos habang hawak ang mga kamay ko. "D-Did I do something wrong?"

"Am I not enough, Cyrena?"

"Kaizer hindi 'yon, sana maintindihan mo ang rason ko---"

"What was the reason then? bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin? bakit nalaman ko pa kay Tita Celine!?" Doon nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. "You know damn well how much I love you. . . that I can't be in peace without seeing you beside me, you know damn well Cyrena, mahal na mahal kita"

"I just want to focus on my own Kaizer" I lied.

Parang binaril ito sa puso sa sinabi ko, he stopped sobbing but his tears keeps falling down to his cheeks. "You need to focus on med school diba? our dreams comes first---"

". . . Paano kapag ikaw yung pangarap ko?" Wala akong masabi, it was too much for my heart to handle, to hear him say that makes me happy because now I know that we feel the same way to each other. "Cyrena, anong gagawin ko?" he kneeled on the sand and stared at my face, "What do I do without you? ikaw yung pangarap ko, eh"