Revenge Turned Sweet

Chapter 38: No More Lies

•Chapter warnings: SMUT, smut, and more smut. With a tiny bit of fluff at the end. Also, I just KNOW there is a typo somewhere in here that I just CAN'T find no matter how many times I read through it. If you find it, please comment so I can fix it. Happy reading and happy *almost* Friday!•

His warm breath fans over my face, grounding me back to reality. His hands are holding me in place against him as I wrack my brain for anything to say, anything to try to make the situation better. I feel a tear slip down my cheek, and I take a sharp breath in. "You can't lie to me anymore," I whisper, trying to avoid the ache flowing through me at the many lies I've told him.

What a hypocrite I've turned into.

I open my eyes and find him already looking at me, a frown covering his features. He brings his hand to my face, gently brushing the stray hair behind my ear. And surprisingly, I don't flinch. I don't have an adverse or anger-filled reaction to him touching me. I place my hand on his bare chest, feeling his heartbeat pick up its pace as my fingers grasp onto him. "I don't know how much forgiveness I have left in me, Bucky." I lean my forehead against his, letting out a shaky breath. My words are weak, showing how feeble my attempt is at staying in this shadow of anger.

"I'm so sorry," he responds, his hands going back to gripping my waist. I place my hand on his cheek gently, and his eyes drop, a breath of relief escaping him. "I didn't have a choice. I never had a choice." His voice breaks as he speaks, letting me know just how much this pains him. How much being the soldier pained him and continues to do so.

I tilt my head at him and bring his face up to mine, silently telling him to look at me. I take a deep breath in and smile at him, pushing his thick hair out of his face. "I know you didn't," I whisper, and his chest heaves slightly at my words.

He leans into my hand, and the warmth from his cheek spreads throughout my arm. He gently grabs my hand, removing it from his cheek, and places a chaste kiss on my palm. More tears spill from my eyes and slide down my cheeks as I smile at his gesture. He leans forward, pressing me to him. "Bucky," I whisper with my eyes shut and make sure I have a firm grasp on his jacket on the chair.

"Yes, baby?"

I picture my bed at the compound, my bedroom, my home. I crack open my eyes to see the blue comforter beneath us, the cream-colored walls encasing us, and the faint smell of vanilla rather than stale cigarettes. "I couldn't stand that motel room," I chuckle and watch him open his eyes, almost in alarm. But he visibly relaxes when he sees my bedroom.

I squeal as he flips me over, slamming my back onto the mattress and towering over me. "I forgive you," I whisper, feeling a weight off my shoulders, the anger I've been holding on to dissipates. He frowns at me and my brows knit together, confused at his reaction. I purse my lips, seeing his eyes drift down toward the mattress looking anywhere but my own. I feel the familiar burn come to my eyes and grimace at the thought that enters my head.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness."

"Yes, you do," I say, grabbing his attention. He looks at me with wide eyes, but they narrow when he realizes what I heard. "Whether you think you deserve it or not, I'm giving it to you."

The corners of his lips perk up in a smirk. I watch as he reaches down into one of the many pockets of his pants. A glimmer of silver catches my eye as he pulls his hand from his pocket. "Will you take this back, then?" I stare at the silver chain he's holding, holding his name and his identity before the Winter Soldier.

"Yes, I will," I breathe, and he smiles widely. He places the chain on the nightstand next to my bed, and my patience begins to grow thin. "Will you do something for me, then?" I ask quietly. He looks back at me with an alert look, and I smile at him to ease his stress.