The second one

25

Alec knew about Damians PTSD for two whole months now. And he wasn't any closer to figuring out how to help him with it.
He never knew how empty it made you feel. To watch someone you cared about struggle without being able to help. A bullet wound you could cover up and stitch back together. A scratch could be helped with some cream and a bandage. But a mental wound couldn't be fixed with you hands. He felt so utterly useless is this fight.

Alec tried to help him.
He did everything he could.

When Damian had his first attack with the pack, it was a quiet morning.
Birds singing. The soft sounds of wolfs waking up.
Sil was feeding his son a bottle of formula in the bed. Curled up in the blankets softly caressing his dot of blue hair and humming a song.
Kit was baking pancakes. Making a big pile of them to eat together. It was the only thing he learned to make.

Damian was sneaking pancakes away while working on some forms for the pack. Bane was eating chili flavored chips again.
And Alec and Sam just went out for a run around their temporarily territory.

They where chatting although Alec couldn't quit remember what they had chatted about. Everything about that day seemed a bit fussy. Like a little layer or smoke was covering it. They walked inside and laughed and sat down at the table.
He didn't know what triggered the attack.

He learned that certain words or actions could trigger someone's PTSD.
I could have been sam who was gushing about kissing Izzy for the first time.
It could have been Sil who was singing a lullaby. It could have been Kit who asked him if he wanted his packages with syrup or not.
And of course... it could have been Alec.

But non of them did anything wrong.
But next thing he knew Damians dark eyes turned liquid gold.

He was growling in this really weird way and his hands where around kits neck.
And he was strangling him.

For seconds, hours and minutes no one knew what to do.
It had been a mess of screaming, yelling and pulling.
He remembered begging and being so frightened that his stomach felt like acid was dumped in it.

But Damian wasn't there.
Damian never shifted so he never met his wolf. They where all a bit broken so he never really cared about it.
But now Damians wolf was there and ready to kill Kit.
Damians wolf looked at them like they where the enemy. And then he understood.

He remembered Damian telling him the first day they met what happened to him.
So he understood.
His wolf had taken over.
Damian wasn't the only one suffering from PTSD.... His wolf was to.

Alec didn't remember what he said he just remembered talking and talking until Damians wolf Derek let Kit fall to the ground.
Face red, flustered and a neck bruised. Gasping for air.
Talking and talking until the gold disappeared and Damians dead eyes returned.
And then having to physically restrain his head warrior to make sure he didn't run away in his guilt.

Alec remembered feeling as if he wasn't really himself.
Like he was sitting somewhere watching his body move from a far.
The things he said sounded like that of a good adult. Someone who knew what he was doing. Even if he never felt more lost.

He never wished for his mother more than that day.
But she wasn't there.
It was just them.
And even if it was hard. They got thru it.

Derek, Damians wolf first retort was violence. Dangerous, senseless violence.

Perhaps it was by they way they where abused. They way they had been attacked.
The way he got his many many scars.
Werewolves didn't just scar.

The way the person who was supposed to love him the most betrayed him and helped rip him apart. He might have physically health but he was still broken.

Sometimes he pitied himself for his cruel fate but then he remembered how much worse Damians fate had been. And he remembered he wasn't alone.
And he was okay now.
And Damian needed him.

Because Jacob was dead.
A dangerously stunning blond hunter had killed him like was nothing but a fleck of dust in his way. It was almost poetic and he thought about it still from time to time.
Jacob was gone and would never hurt anyone he loved ever again.

But Lilith was still out there.

My poor child Damian. So I don't know much about ptsd but I have done research on this. After everything Damian went thru. Which was much much worse than Alec. It made sense he was still suffering. It won't go away in one book either. Cause that's not how the world works.
Damian is my favorite character if I had to choose one of them.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter, with a little background on some of my boys.
Please comment, vote and follow and eat a cupcake.