Behind My Walls✔️

Chapter 38

Ikhbal's POV.

I sat down at Layla's balcony, legs to my chest, watching the sky as the blazing sun descending and painting the sky with the hues of orange and yellow. The sky picturesqueness was one serene view that always captivates me.

Layla's seating beside me indicating her presence but I didn't bothered turning away from the astonishing sky. "Pretty did you remember when I told you about Muhammad's proposal?". Layla said fidgeting with her fingers.

I nodded. "Yes". I could remember her telling me that Muhammad proposed to her about getting married if she graduated but she didn't get to approved of it, saying that she needed to finish her Master degree before getting married. "What happened?".

She inhaled deeply. "I told him, if he could wait for me to finish my Masters of two years because that has been my dream because I don't want to start having responsibilities of children and stuffs whilst I'm in school". She sighed. "He seemed off with the idea and he said he will think about it but he called me less since the day and he kept acting cold with me bringing up excuses.". She paused. "I don't know what to do?".

I took her hand in mine. "Layla, you don't need to hurt yourself or anyone with your decisions, you just have to weigh between your choices and follow your heart toward your determination". I paused. "And people have and encounter different stage of life, with not just smooth path but mountains of obstacles, which varies with sizes, but you have to be climbing up to get to the summit. And for you to get there you have to use your mind and follow your heart, for the choices you make now determine your future". I stated.

Sometimes life contained the unpredictable, which the dreams you had doesn't always come true, or your past choices you made were regrettable but all we need to remind ourselves is to choose ourselves first, for people cannot have the same time set in their lives. Some may be able to be in school, hold onto the responsibilities of marriage and offsprings whilst some couldn't, it's all about the differences destined to our lives.

"My mind kept overpowering my heart to follow my dream against his proposal but I don't want to hurt him neither do I want to regret my decision plus I wouldn't want to be under rooted to him, to shatter my dream". She hold my hand like her life depended on it

"Take heart Layla, all you have to do is make istikhara and Allah will ease your compunction".

"InshaAllah, thank you". She beamed. Just then her phone started ringing whilst she looked at the phone for a minute and placed to her ears. "Salaam alaikum.peace be upon you". She paused whilst I sipped the orange juice that was on the table beside me. "I'm fine". She turned to me. "Tonight?". She asked. "No it's okay, till you come, bye". She ended the call. "It is Muhammad, he said he wants to talk to me tonight". She looked at the sky, visibly in thought.

I patted her shoulder. "It will be okay, InshaAllah". Whilst she smiled. I checked my wrist watch "Ohh! I have to go now, its getting late". I stood up.

We sauntered downstairs meeting Yusuf in the living room engaged with his phone whilst Aunty Safiyya was typing on her laptop, obviously working.

"Aunty Safiyya I'm going now". I announced.

"Already? I just ordered pizza for us". She said.

I smiled. "I would love to stay but I have to cover up for my forthcoming Exams".

She beamed. "MashaAllah may Allah bless your studies both of you".

"Ameen". Layla and I chorused.

"And.. Layla don't forget to read without nagging today, I'm obviously tired of your complains". Yusuf teased grinning.

"And how is that your problem? Besides I don't ever see you reading for your Exams, are you sure you are not cheating and scoring highest position in your class?". She looked at him skeptically.

He grinned. "Ohh! I don't cheat, I'm just gifted just like Aunty Safiyya and Ikhbal over here".

She glared at him, hand on hip. "And who is not gifted?".

Aunty Safiyya scoffed. "Aren't you two tired of your rants?". Whilst I just smiled watching their dramatic banters.

I later bade Aunty Safiyya and Yusuf bye as Layla escorted me out, hence Salim and Aunty Ruqayya were not around, probably at work whilst I walked to my car, hopped in and sped home.

***

I changed into a jeans and oversized sweater because the weather was a bit wintry, packed my hair into a rough bun, and walked to my study, perhaps my tests were ending as the exams were approaching, and reading my brain out was exceptionally necessary.

I read the first paragraph with difficulty, because my sight was getting weaker by the time, hence years ago I abandoned wearing my glasses while I regained my sight but this few days were exceptional.

I blinked, rubbed my eyes but no avail as my only unfortunate option was to re_wear my glasses which was now in Ammi's room. I stood up, and gently strolled to her door and I clenched the pen in my hand, watching the door to the last place I wanted to be as I always run away from reviewing the pain back to my heart, thus, that was when I regretted keeping the glasses in the room.

Flashback:

I gently turned the knob whilst the sun rays blinded my vision, and I walked to the large window, closed the curtain and walked to Ammi, who was seated against the headboard, legs in duvet on her bed, praying with prayer beads.

"Ammi I'm done with this glasses, I have regained my sight already". I pouted, keeping the glass in her locker beside her bed.

"No you can't be sure, except you see the optician habibti". Ammi said as I sat beside her on the bed.

"No! I don't want to go to the eye center again Ammi, just keep it for me".

She shook her head laughing. "You are always stubborn Ikhi".

"Ohh! That's just like you Ammi". I teased whilst we both laughed. "You never listen to me when I asked you to go to the hospital Ammi. By the way how was your head ache?". I asked, placing my hand on her head, feeling her temperature. Hence her head ache was severe, resulting in her strange constant fatigue.

She looked at me for awhile and smiled with a glimpse of glossy eyes. "Ana bikhair habibti, la taqlaq.I'm fine habibti, don't worry".

I looked at her for a moment and I just subconsciously hugged her tight. "Ahabbaki Ammi.I love you Ammi".

She hugged me back. "Ahabbaki aydan habibti. I love you too habibti". She smooched my forehead and I smiled, not letting go.

End of Flashback:

A gasped escaped my lips jolting me to reality as my blurred vision and wet cheeks indicated my subconscious cascaded tears. I wiped off my face and reminded myself that I had to be strong for my Ammi, albeit the pain dwelling in me wasn't a bit fading but endless flows of tears will just tend to wallow me back into the reviving pain, which deep down I knew there was no avoidance to that.

I inhaled deeply and turned the door knob, and stepped in the room. The room which was usually cozy was now glacial, with a tad dusty atmosphere. I gulped as I stared right to the now non_clothed Ammi's bed, albeit Abba chose to leave the room untouched by the fright of mishandling her memories, likewise I didn't want to invite the painful memories by surveying the room which I avoided the past years before now.

I traced my hand on the locker, leaving a relic of dust on my hand and I opened the locker which was filled with files whilst at the end of it was my glasses case. I gently dipped in my hand to carry it and accidentally tumbled down the locker spreading the files and papers on the floor.

I groaned inwardly and started packing them back into the locker and at the last sheet, something captured my gaze. Ammi's name written and I gulped at the name of the hospital at the top as I took the paper with a shaky hand, and blurry vision. I staggered back on the floor as the one word that shattered me and rendered me motionless was 'Brain tumor'.

*****

Xoxo
Kherdeeniasse.