Dazai x reader one shots

Death p2

//this was requested so I delivered. I hope you can enjoy ❤️

Dazai pets the baby's head. "My daughter."
"Who is her mother? You've never said anything about a special woman." Atsushi asks.
"That I can't say." Dazai responds but with a dreamy look on his face.
"I bet I could figure it out." Ranpo grumbles.
"I'd like to see you try."
"Do you doubt my ability, Dazai?" The older brunette yells, standing from his seat.
His hands slam onto the table.
"Of course not."
Everyone looks between the two confused.
"Fine. If I guess it right you owe me a bunch of snacks."
"Deal! But if I win, Ranpo I want you to watch (Y/n) while I'm out in the field."
The ultimate detective looks at his friend confused. "You really want me to watch your kid?"
"Yes. You're here in the office most of the time so I feel she would be safest here with you."
After a while of deliberation Ranpo holds his hand out.
"I accept the challenge."
"I'm glad." Dazai whispers in response.

"Do you think Ranpo can actually figure out who Dazai had a child with?" Atsushi asks and Kunikida makes his thinking face.
"I'm sure he can. But I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea."
Dazai hands Ranpo the infant.
Ranpo looks over the baby, smirking.
(Y/n) giggles and cups his face with both her hands.
Everyone watches him put on his glasses and for a minute they all believed he had figured it out.
Unfortunately the smirk turns into a frown.
"That's what I thought." Dazai mumbles and pets his daughter's head. "I'm not pawning her off on you all the time I promise. I don't want her out of my sight that long. Although I do feel slightly bad so I will get you some chips and a Ramune for your effort."
Ranpo looks at Dazai quickly. "Tell me Dazai. Who was it?"
It was a desperate question.
"I can't." The tall man responds. "Kunikida let's go."
The blonde sighs but nods. "Ok."

When the partners come back Dazai can't help worrying about his daughter.
"I'm sure she'll be ok. Ranpo wouldn't let anything happen to her."
"He's a child."
"Then why did you let him take her?" Kunikida asks confused. He pushes his glasses up as they get off the elevator.
"Because when he's given a task he follows through. Plus we made a bet."
"Speaking of which, why can't you say who her mother is?"
"Doppo I can't tell anyone anything. Just trust me when I say I loved her and she loved me."
That was the first time he said his friend's first name.
It was kind of startling. Which meant he was being 100% serious.

When they open the door to the office Dazai looks around and finds it a mess.
"Where's my baby?" He asks, fatherly instincts taking over.
"Don't worry Dazai. After you left the mafia decided to stop by but Ranpo protected (Y/n)." Atsushi explains as he helps clean up.
"She was all giggles and smiles the whole time. She must be your insane daughter." Ranpo grumbles and hands the other brunette his daughter.
The said baby giggles and curls into her father's chest.
"You survived your first mafia hit. Good for you baby girl." He gives her an eskimo kiss.
"I guess they decided they would keep the damage to a minimum?" Kunikida infers from the low number of bullet holes and the overall low amount of mess around the office.
"I think they noticed there was a baby and decided they would work around it." Junnichiro guessed as he kept cleaning near Naomi.
Dazai sighs but nods. "Thank you everyone. Oh and Ranpo, here ya go." He gives the brunette his chips and soda.
The said man grumbles as he takes the items. "You promise this won't be all the time?"
"Just when I go out on a job. I'm not so deadbeat that I would pawn her off on others." Dazai looks down at his daughter and walks toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Atsushi asks.
"I need to set up a nursery don't I? My baby needs clothes and toys and a nice bed."
"Why don't we help you. I'm 96% sure you don't know what to get or what a baby needs." Kunikida offers, pushing his glasses up.
"You would do that Kunikida? You're such a good friend."
"Plus you can't drive so I think Kunikida should drive." The tiger boy adds.
The agency members laugh as they nod in agreement.
"He's got a point." Yosano comments.
"There is a baby shop four blocks away. I will drive there. Atsushi walk with Dazai and make sure they make it there in one piece."
"Will do sir." The tiger boy salutes his superior and turns to his teacher.

"Come on Kunikida~ wouldn't she look adorable?"
"Adorable isn't the question! I know you wanna spoil (Y/n) but you don't have enough money and you don't have enough space for all this."
The brunette pouts and holds his daughter close. "Uncle Doppo is a stingy man. Maybe for Christmas." Dazai whispers and smiles.
"The president told me you were allowed one present for (Y/n) from everyone." Atsushi adds, holding up his pointer finger.
The blonde sighs and shakes his head. "Pick something out kid."
The white haired boy looks around. "Well since it's from all of us why don't we make the crib our present."
His suggestion made sense so after pushing up his glasses Doppo agreed.

After lugging everything to the car and driving to Dazai's apartment the agents bring everything in and the father sets his daughter in her bassinet.
The three manage to set up the crib and other items Dazai went crazy over.
"Dazai did you sneak this dress in after I said no?" Kunikida scolds, knowing full well the answer was yes.
"But Kunikida she'll look so good in this when she gets a little older and I can take her on missions."
"You're gonna take her out on missions?!" Atsushi asks, startled.
"Of course! Strapped to my chest she'll be safe."
"No she won't. But I'm sure Ranpo won't watch her forever."
"Have some faith in me Doppo. I would never let any harm befall my daughter."
The serious tone coming from the brunette made the skin of both agents crawl.
"Dazai you're starting to scare me." Tiger boy comments.
"I hate to agree. Dazai what's going on?" The blonde questions his partner.
"Nothing is going on. I've just found my reason for living, and I'm going to do everything in my power to protect it."
(Y/n) giggles as her father kisses her forehead.