Dazai x reader one shots

The Lumberjack P1

Dazai looks around the office and frowns.
Everyone is running around like a chicken without a head.
It's hectic chaos and something inside Dazai finally snaps.
He no longer wants to be an agent. He doesn't want to risk his life for anyone. He doesn't want everyone looking to him for answers or advice.
Ranpo watches his friend leave from his desk but says nothing.
Dazai turns off his phone, goes to his apartment and packs a suitcase.
Once he finishes he starts walking until he is in the middle of the woods.

Dazai looks around and sighs softly.
His lungs inhale as much fresh air as possible.
The silence is calming and his mind eventually clears.
Dazai smiles softly but jumps when he feels a tap on his shoulder.
"Hey little lad. What's a city boy like you doin' wandering the woods...with a suitcase?"
Dazai turns to the man and bites the inside of his cheek. "I um...I guess you could say I'm running away."
The big man laughs in a low tone. "Runnin' away huh? Well I wouldn't suggest the woods if you're used to city life. It's a huge change."
"I could use some change." Dazai mumbles and looks away.

(Y/n) looks down at the brunette. "If you really think you want the outdoors life I guess I could help you. But you gotta do what I say and make sure you're useful."
Dazai looks him up and down but nods. "Ok."
He wouldn't admit it out loud but he is totally enamored with the big, burly man.
The large mane of hair, the neatly groomed facial hair, not to mention his bulging muscles...everywhere.
Dazai wouldn't be surprised if the man was huge down there too.
He seemed like the total opposite of the agent.
(Not that I'm saying Dazai isn't big down there. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️)

"So what are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere?" Dazai inquires, looking around.
"I'm a lumberjack. My cabin is nearby. Let me show you to it." (Y/n) offers and starts walking.
The brunette follows and holds his case with both hands. "That makes sense." Dazai mumbles to himself.
Once they arrive (Y/n) gives a small tour of the cabin.
It's really nice and clean, also big enough for them both.
Dazai smiles softly. "It's great. Do you live here alone?"
"Yeah. I enjoy the solitude and bein' one with nature. I don't do well with the hustle and bustle of the city, too loud. The sounds here are calming and no one around to bother you."

Dazai sets his bag down and runs his fingers over the wooden wall. "Would you really let me live here with you?"
"Well if you're keen on staying out here I don't mind. I'll show you the ropes. Although with your noodle arms it might take a bit for you to-"
"I'm stronger than I look, I assure you. Not much but I'm sure I can manage."
(Y/n) laughs but nods. "Ok cutie. Then I wanna see you chop some wood. Have you ever used a saw?"
"Never used a saw, no."
"Then I'll have to train you in the safety of my saws."
Dazai imagines (Y/n) chopping wood, his muscles flexing.
Or maybe he would rip it apart, Captain America style.
Either ways it's sexy as hell.

(Y/n) takes Dazai outside and shows him around the grounds. He explains the equipment and the daily tasks.
Dazai listens intently, enjoying the smooth bass tone.
(Y/n) smirks, looking at Dazai over his shoulder. "Hey cutie, you still payin' attention?"
"Hm? Oh yes, I'm paying attention."
"You must like the nickname I've given you. You haven't said anything about it."
In truth Dazai didn't even notice.
"What's your name?" (Y/n) asks, stopping in his tracks.
"Dazai Osamu. What about you?"
"(Y/n)."
"Just (Y/n)?"
"Yep."
"Maybe I'll start calling you little mystery instead."
"What about me screams little?"
"Nothing, but it sounds better than big mystery."
(Y/n) laughs but nods.

The two continue talking and walking. Finally they make it back to the cabin.
The sun is setting and the stars are starting to appear.
"Make sure you don't stay out too late. The woods are dangerous at night. Not just because of animals either."
"I understand."
"I'll start on dinner. I hope you don't mind meat."
"Sounds good to me."
After dinner (Y/n) takes Dazai to his new room.
"Have a nice night Osamu. Sleep well."
"Please don't use my first name."
(Y/n) frowns but nods. "As you wish." Then he smirks. "I'll call you Osa then." He waves and closes the door.
Dazai blushes deeply and clenches his fists. He brushes his teeth then changes into pjs and gets into the bed.
It smells like (Y/n).
The scent is soothing and the agent falls asleep easily.

Come morning (Y/n) starts on breakfast at dawn.
Dazai wakes up to the smell and when his eyes open he rubs them before looking around.
Obviously he isn't in his apartment anymore.
He sits up and stretches then gets out of bed.
His feet touch the wooden floor and as he stands up he puts his robe on.
Dazai walks out to the dining room where he also has a great view of the shirtless lumberjack at the stove.
His tanned muscles move and flex as he flips the pancake in the pan.
The brunette bites his lip as he watches. Although he shakes his head and looks away.

"Good morning sleepyhead. Did you sleep ok?"
"Yeah. It's was weird sleeping in a western bed and not on a futon."
The man laughs softly. "Yeah, sorry if you didn't like that. I'm originally from the states and moved to Japan around a decade ago. I can never sleep properly on a futon and believe me I've tried many times."
Dazai smiles softly. "It's not for everyone. The bed was soft though, a nice change of pace."
"You can sit at the table if you want. How many pancakes do you want?"
"Two is fine."
The man once again laughs. "Just two huh? I'm never gonna build your muscles if you don't eat more."
"I'm sure my stomach isn't as big as yours, nor my appetite."

(Y/n) plates two flapjacks and hands the plate to Dazai. "Do you want syrup or are you a monster who eats them plain?"
"Butter and syrup sound good to me."
"I knew I liked you." The taller man mumbles and walks to the fridge.
He comes back with the two items and a fork. "Help yourself."
"Thank you." Dazai mumbles and finishes preparing his breakfast.
(Y/n) walks back to the stove and sighs softly. "Golden brown, just right." He whispers to himself.
They eat together and make small talk about their lives.
Dazai was open and honest about everything and (Yn) listens intently.
Once they finish eating (Y/n) smirks. "Let's get to work."

//This is not supposed to be taken seriously guys. Dazai is going to be out of character. I just randomly thought of this idea and rolled with it. It's supposed to be funny. Dazai is a love struck city man who falls for a buff lumberjack. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm sorry if you hate it  😔