Dazai x reader one shots

Spilled Secret

"He's a ladies man (Y/n). You can't assume you're different from the rest. He'll use you until he doesn't need you anymore."
"But that's the thing! He always asks if the girl wants to commit double suicide, but he didn't with me."
"Then you're not hot enough." My friend responds and crosses her arms. She leans back in the booth and gives me a stern look.
The waitress walks over and sets our drinks down.
I frown and look down at the table.
My friend orders food for us and the waitress walks away smiling kindly.
She's such a sweet lady.

"Hey (n/n) I didn't know you come here too." Dazai greets walking over to me and my friend.
I blush softly and smile. "Yeah. It's a nice cafe."
"Oh I know right? It's so nice and quiet. Even though I asked my precious waitress to commit a double suicide and she denied me."
I giggle and nod. "I know. She's the one that told me about you Dazai."
The brunette gasps and sits next to me. "But my turtle dove why not? You are so beautiful. Our double suicide would be breathtaking."
My friend gives me the 'I told you so' look.
I look down at my lap.
"I could come over tonight and we could totally go through with it." Dazai offers, holding both my hands.
I was about to respond but a certain blonde interrupts me.
"Dazai where have you been? The rookie and I have been running around this whole town looking for you." Kunikida stomps over, book in hand.
I smile at the man. "Hello Kuni," I greet.
"Good morning (n/n). Is Dazai bothering you again?"
"I would never. I just asked her to join me in the afterlife." The brunette corrects his blonde friend.
"Why would you ask the girl who has a crush on you if she wants to kill herself?"
"Because it's the ultimate sign of true love, dying together. You should write that one down Kunikida." Dazai points at the famous notebook.
The blonde nods and immediately starts writing it down.
I look between the two surprised.
Not to mention heartbroken that my friend outed me and my crush totally ignored it.

I grab my phone and pretend to answer a call. I stand up and walk away from the three.
The blonde watches for a moment before going back to yelling at his partner.
I lean against the wall outside the cafe and put the phone down.
"Are you ok (n/n)?" Atsushi asks walking over to me.
I smile and nod. "Yeah. Oh, but if the boys ask if I was talking on the phone tell them I was."
"Why do you need to lie to them?"
"I just needed to get out of there."
"Were they fighting again? Do I need to break them up?"
I giggle softly and shake my head. "Nothing more than usual they're fine. I just..." I trail off as he sits next to me.
"I know how to keep a secret, unlike everyone else in the agency." The white haired boy comments.
I laugh softly and nod. "I know Atsushi. Kuni just spilled my secret to Dazai and neither one of them cared."
"Spilled your secret? What secret?"
I look over at the boy, nearly five years younger than me, and sigh. "I have a crush on Dazai." I whisper and blush softly.
Atsushi blushes and looks at his lap. "Oh. I'm sorry. I'm sure it's hard liking someone who wants to kill himself all the time."
I giggle softly. "To be honest it's not hard. It's just knowing he'll never like me back, that's the hard part. With his past it's not hard to see why he's the way he is."
"His past? You know what he did before the agency?" The boy asks quickly, smiling. "Tell me! I need the money he's offering."
"It doesn't count if I tell you bro. But I've worked by his side for a long time."
"It's not nice to gossip about people." A familiar agent whispers, suddenly standing besides me.
Both Atsushi and I stand and look at our friend.
"Dazai! How long have you been eavesdropping?" I ask quickly.
He shrugs.
"That didn't answer the question Dazai." Atsushi mumbles crossing his arms.
"I knew you didn't get a call so I knew it had to do with your crush."
I look down and scoff. I push past Dazai but he grabs my wrist. I stiffen and stutter. "Let m-me go."
"It's too dangerous; you know that. That's why you didn't tell me."
"I can't risk your life. He'll use me to kill you."
"Is that all you care about? Whether he kills me or not? You know he can't; he's not strong enough. Atsushi is more capable than him."
The white haired boy looks over quickly. "Me? Who are you talking about?"
"Atsushi go inside with Kuni. You can have my food." I command and look at him sternly.
"(Y/n) just because I want to die doesn't mean I can't spend my life loving you. I can treat you right."
"And if I want children, will you stay alive long enough to see them grow up? What if he gets you?"
Dazai pulls me to his chest and stares into my eyes. "I won't let him get me if I have you."
"That was cheesy," I whisper and he smirks.
"I'll tell Kunikida to put it in his book later." He whispers then kisses me.