Damaged goods

5

TRIGGER WARNING

ALYSSA

"Don't fight it, I know you want it," he murmured, caressing my cheek.

"No, let go of me please," I screamed attempting to release my hands from his hold.

"I'll do anything, don't do this to me," I screamed, tears streaming down my temple.

"Baby, this is all I ever wanted from you," he said as his other hand wandered to the top of my trousers pulling them down.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I thrashed my body around trying to get out of his grasp, "Don't fucking move or I'll make it hurt." he gritted as his leg held down onto mine.

"Stop please." I begged as I tried to hit him away from me.

"I didn't want to do this to you," he muttered as he reached onto my nightstand and grabbed a bottle of pills.

"NO, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME," I SCREAMED.

"ALYSSA, ALYSSA, ALYSSA," I faintly heard in the distance.

Elliot's figure on top of me began to fade and was replaced with someone shaking my body.

I shot up from my bed, sweat dripping from my forehead.

"I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay." I clamour.

My mom held me into her chest and hugged me, my body burned. "You're not okay sweetheart." she whispers.

"Where's dad?" I stutter.

"He's in the shower," she says, rubbing my back.

I sigh running my finger through the roots of my hair, "I got another memory back." I whisper.

"I know." she mumbles.

We sat in silence for the next few minutes until my dad walked in, smoothing his hair with a towel. His smile dropped once he saw us. He scurried over to me.

"Are you okay?" he asked urgently.

I sob into his clean shirt as he gently rubbed my back trying to calm me. I was too distraught to even react to my father's touch.

"Why me?" I cry.

"I'm so sorry munchkin." he whispers

"I can't stay here anymore," I mutter.

I let go of my dad and turn to my mom, "We're leaving whether you come or not." I say, trying to hold back my sobs.

She nods frantically. "I'm coming, I'm so sorry Alyssa, I didn't realise how bad it was." she cries.

•••

In the shower, I felt it worse. I could feel his touch. Every time I closed my eyes, I was back in the room. His arms holding me down.
My skin felt like it was on fire, with no warning I began to viciously scrub my arms with the shower scrub struggling to erase the feeling of Elliot's touch on me. Tears glossed over my eyes, as I continuously scrubbed the irritated skin.
What am I doing?
You can't do this.

I instantly dropped the scrub onto the shower floor and my eyes shifted to the harsh, bloody cut on my arm, I promptly wrapped a towel over my body and got out of the shower I inhaled a deep breath as I held a tissue to the bleeding wound, once I felt the bleeding slow down I let go of the wound and put a band-aid on and threw on my black jumper and joggers. I left the bathroom and grabbed my phone from my room and walked downstairs, my mom was making pancakes and my dad was sitting at the dining table on the phone.

Ever since we decided that we were going to move, my dad has been on the phone looking for any houses that we could temporarily move into.
I still haven't reached out to Liv or Tristan. They're going to hate me.

I walk over to my mom, "Hey sweetheart." she smiles.

"Hey, mom,"

"Did you have an alright shower?" she asks cutting up the strawberries.

my memories came back and I began to cut my skin.

"Yes,"

"IDIOTS." my dad screams.

My mom sighs, "Honey, take a break." my mom advises.

"No I can't, we're moving in a week and we don't have anywhere to stay." 

My mom sighes again as she flips the pancake. Her eyes widen as she looked at me, a happy expression washed over her face. "Why don't you ask Olivia?" my mom asks.

"Mom," I chuckle quietly, "Her house isn't big enough for all 3 of us," I say.

"Ezra." my dad yells.

What?

"Yes." my mom grins.

My eyes widen. Ezra? No. Not Ezra's house. I'd rather sleep out in the cold than stay at Ezra's house.

"Ezra does have a big enough house for all 3 of us," he says.

"That is a good idea." my mom replies

"No." I answer, throwing a strawberry in my mouth.

"I'll call his mom and ask her if that's okay." my mom offers, completely ignoring my protest.

"No please." I beg.

"Honey only for a few weeks."

I'm not fucking living with Ezra. I don't like him. He's a dickhead who doesn't care about anyone but himself. I am not living with him.