Damaged goods

7

ALYSSA

When Ezra and I finished taking in all the suitcases, i sit down on the couch resting my hands on my knees. God, that was a workout. Ezra walks over and decides to park his ass right beside me, leaving no space between us. I huff before shuffling away from him and he rolls his eyes.

"Dessert is ready." Jennifer yells.

I walk over to the dining room and I see Jennifer begin to slice the red velvet cake she had baked.

"So Alyssa where are you going for school?" she asks.

I raise a brow, "To be honest, I haven't really thought about it."

"Ezra what about your school?"  she asks.

"I'm pretty sure there are spaces," he adds.

"I'll figure something out." I murmur.

Bad enough I have to see Ezra enough at home, I don't think I want to go to school with him but considering I haven't been to school in months, there's a huge possibility I'll be held back a year. 

My parents continued their conversations with Jennifer whilst Maddie left to go to the bathroom.

I sigh and went on my phone out of boredom, I received two messages, both from Olivia.

Liv: you're back??
Liv: why the hell wouldn't you tell me?

I hate how I didn't contact her after what happened, I abandoned her. She probably hates me now.

me: surprise.

liv: where are you staying??

me: ezra's

liv: I'm coming over

fuck no not yet. I'm not ready to face her.

me: no don't. come tomorrow, it's too late.

liv: fine but we need to talk.

me: yeah we do.

"Alyssa." someone says pulling me out of my thoughts.

I clear my throat and look up, "Honey are you okay?" my mom asks.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason." she murmurs, glancing at me suspiciously.

I shoved my phone in my pocket and returned my attention to everyone else.

"It's getting late, you kids should go to bed." Jennifer states, looking down at her watch.

I looked up to the clock hanging on the wall, which read 11 pm. It was hardly late but I did want to organise all my clothes before I went to bed.

"Yeah, thank you for the food, Jennifer." I smile.

"No worries honey."

"Good night everyone," I announce before walking upstairs, Ezra got up from his seat and hugged Jennifer before following me upstairs.

"What do you want?" I ask walking towards my room.

"To talk."

"About?" I say, stopping in my tracks to face him.

"Everything." he replies with a humourless chuckle.

My immediate thought was no but I needed to know why he left me for three years. I wanted to know how he could justify that.

"Fine." I whisper, walking to my bedroom. He follows after and sits directly on the bed, "Yeah make yourself comfortable." I sarcastically remark.

"Okay, listen to me." he began.

I sat on the edge of the bed waiting for his ridiculous excuse for not contacting me for 3 years. 

"Go on."

"After you told me you were going to leave I didn't know how to react, it brought up the same old wounds from my father leaving and I freaked out and just left you instead of comforting you or reminding you that everything would be okay. I was meant to reach out to you that same night, but I couldn't get over the fact you were leaving me and I know it was the most selfish thing I could have ever done..." he hesitates.

He moved his hand to my face and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and rested his hand on my cheek. I flinch out of pure instinct and move back away from him. His brows furrow in confusion but he ignores it.

I just told you goodbye and left." he continues.

"You didn't even tell me goodbye." I mutter.

He sighs, "Alyssa, I am so sorry,"

I shook my head wiping the tear that fell from my eye, "As if sorry could change anything, I hate you for what you did. I needed you more than I had ever needed anyone and you just left me. And you think a simple sorry would make up for it? You are pathetic."

"Alyssa, I don't ask you to forgive me this quickly, I know I fucked up and I'm going to spend however long trying to make up for it."

I don't say anything because I know whatever I say will end up in tears and Ezra noticed that.

"I'll give you time and space." he mutters before leaving my room.

My eyes focused on the ground beneath me until I heard the door shut, only then did the tears freely leave my eyes.