[[OLD]] A Handful of Daffodils (Forgotten Series, #7)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

My head was practically throbbing as someone shook me awake and I groaned low in my throat. It was a pathetic sound but I couldn't even help myself. I felt horrible. The last time I felt even remotely like I was, was the last time I caught the flu and Simon had spent two days playing nurse but that had been years ago. My mouth felt cottony and I knew I would need to brush my teeth as they felt overly gritty.

"Menza." The voice was a low rumble and I gave another groan, curling up tighter.

"I am never drinking wine again." I mumbled it out, clamping my eyes closed tightly. The bit of light that was coming from wherever it was, was like someone was jamming a sharp needle through my eyelids and into retinas and straight to my brain. I was never going to drink again. I had always been allowed a glass or two of wine when Ellie had some but I had never drank that much before. I hated it. I did not like it and would not been having a repeat. The glowing and warm feeling I had gotten from the sweet, fruity wine would not tempt me if this was the outcome.

"Get up." Brochan's voice was harsh and I inhaled sharply, sitting up quickly. It was still slightly dark out and I rubbed at my eyes, they felt blurry and my brain was fuzzy but I was aware I wasn't in my bed. I blinked rapidly as bits and pieces of awareness filtered into my pounding head.

Oh no.

I gave a shaky inhale and swallowed hard, feeling like I was going to throw up. Brochan and I had... I looked down and saw the familiar blue bed spread that I had cleaned for Brochan numerous times. Then I realized I was naked, completely naked. Brochan was sitting beside me, his form large and tense and I slowly lifted the blankets, covering myself, trying not to hyperventilate. I had been so stupid. I never should have done that. I should have said something, said no but when he kissed me it was like everything in my world felt right and I had been helpless to stop it.

"Menza." He shifted beside me and I waited for the blow up, the anger. What we had done was stupid and it never would have happened if I hadn't gotten the wine or if I had gone to bed earlier than I had. He let out a heavy breath. "This is a fucking mess." He muttered it out and I lowered my head and swallowed hard against the nausea rising up inside me. "Last night shouldn't have happened. It was a mistake." There was an edge to his voice and I gave a tiny nod. It hurt to hear it but I understood. It was a mistake, a stupid stupid mistake and my little crush, my little infatuation was my fault, the pain I got from hearing that was a my fault.

He reached out as if to touch me and stopped. "You're my friend, Menza. One of the only ones I have. I never wanted this." He gestured between us and I nodded again, watching him through the corner of my eyes as I clutched the blanket to my chest, my head bowed still. "Shit. This is a fucking mess." The curse was nearly a hiss and I flinched, unable to help myself. I wanted to say something, anything, but my voice was gone as the tension in him ramped up that much more. "Chrissie has been dead for only six months." The raw way he said it had my chest squeezing so hard it was difficult for me to breathe. I had tread on territory that no one was supposed to and now I had to deal with the consequences of that mistake.

"Listen." His voice was harsh and I tried hard not to flinch as he shifted on the bed. "This can never happen again. Ever." His voice was sharp and I nodded again, tightening my grip on the blanket. I felt embarrassed, I really did. "I don't have room in me for this. For any of this." He threw his arm out and I watched him scrub at his face roughly. "This never should have happened." He muttered it into his hands and I swallowed again.

"I never..." My heart beat over time and my voice wavered. "It wasn't my intention. I just...I just wanted it to be about remembering Chrissie. Cele-brating her." My voice shook and hitched and I curled inwards, closed my eyes I let out a shaky breath. My eyes burned with tears as he gave several muffled curses. I had only wanted to bring out the good memories, the happy ones. I wanted him to have a day where we could celebrate the female he loved and now I ruined everything.