[[OLD]] A Handful of Daffodils (Forgotten Series, #7)

Chapter Thirty

Nearly two weeks later

Everything hurt.

I walked on legs I could barely feel, my joints screaming at me, and I shivered violently. The hair that escaped my braid stuck to my face and my teeth chattered together. I had been walking for so long. I wasn't sure why I hadn't come back to the pack territory. I followed the river. I had. Maeve gave a fussy sound as her tummy gurgled and I felt like crying.

We didn't have anything else.

The back up can of formula in the diaper bag had been stretched as far as it could and now there was nothing. The little baggies of snacks were also long gone. There was nothing to feed her but water and I knew it was upsetting her stomach. Her poor little bum was raw and she cried constantly when she was awake but I couldn't do anything about it. She was hungry, oh so hungry, but I didn't have anything. The diaper bag was a hollow shell of what it had been prior. I had some baby advil in it that I gave her when she felt feverish but I used it sparingly because I didn't want to make her sicker, poison her.

I gave a shuddering breath, adjusting my hold on the diaper bag. Once it had been emptied of diapers and one of the burp clothes ripped into make shift diapers, I had made it into a carrier for Maeve. She barely fit but I needed something to carry her in while she slept. I stumbled and stopped walking. My hand fluttered up to my side but I held it away from the wounds.

They were festering. I knew they were. They were hot and smelled foul. I was fevering as well. I was so cold but I was sweating so much and I knew something was seriously wrong with me. Something inside of me was just as sick. I tried hard to keep the wound clean and I washed the burp cloth bandage in the icy river as often as I could but I was getting sick, so very sick. My head swam as I slowly slumped to the ground as Maeve gave another cry. She was awake and that meant I needed to pull her out of the diaper bag and hold her.

I shifted the diaper bag, reaching into pull her out but the shoulder I had slammed into the rocks when I first got into the river sent a vibrant and savage spear of pain across my shoulders and down my spine and I gave a silent cry of pain and bent over. I was breathing heavy, far heavier than I knew I should be, and I ached.

If I had tears left in me I knew they would be burning my eyes but I had none left. I wanted to curl up, to just stop and rest, but I knew I couldn't. I had to keep moving. I had thought the pack would have found me, that someone would have found me but the days dragged on and on and on and no one came out, no one crossed my path. I gave a weak cry that matched Maeve's. I was lost, so utterly lost and I didn't know what to do.

I tucked my elbow close to my side and it touched the bandage on my side, sending that sharp, angry pain across my entire body and I gave a sharper cry, sobbing slightly. I hurt so bad. I just wanted it to stop. Maeve gave another cry and I pushed myself up, rocks digging into my palms as I swallowed down the watery bile that rose up in my throat. I couldn't stop, Maeve needed me. I gave a deep and guttural groan, a sound that made me feel like I was dying as I sat up, my spine aching and nearly creaking, as I reached into the diaper bag with arms that felt like they were made of rubber. Maeve gave a shuddering cry and grabbed my arms weakly and I sniffled.

"I'm so sorry, baby." I croaked it out as I used all my strength to life her up. She was so small, her weight should have been so easy to lift but my arms shook and it took all I had to bring her to my chest. She buried her face into my neck and gave a faint whine as she shook. "I'm so sorry." I didn't want to think it but I wondered if we would both die out here. I didn't want to think it, to put it out into the universe, but I was getting so weak. I was all she had and I knew something inside me was wrong. I felt a dark cloud hanging over my head, as if I could feel Death waiting at my back. She was healthier than I was at the moment, I would fall before she did, but she was so little. She couldn't take care of herself.