Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 14

June 2015
**YOUR POV**
He nodded slowly, letting it sink in. „Did anyone else know about this? Did you get help?" He asked, concerned.

I shook my head, tears falling down my cheeks. „No, I was alone, all by myself...Mason knew. He had to know, but he didn't care that much."

I saw Harry getting sadder and sadder.

„Asshole." He whispered. „What about your parents? Were they there?"

„Oh please, my parents didn't care, they never did as always." I shook my head again. „You know how they are. They never cared about me."

„This is unbelievable..." He whispered. „You had to go through this all alone..."

„Yeah...it wasn't the greatest time, but here I am."

„I could have been there." He said.

„No, you couldn't have...I couldn't stop you from doing what you love." I told him.

He nodded slightly, looking away.

„There you have it, it's out...that's the truth, all of it." I whispered the last words.

„I'm so sorry..."

„No Harry, don't you apologize to me. Nothing of this has something to do with you. It's not your fault, it was fate and it seems like fate doesn't like me very much, but please don't blame yourself for any of this." I told him, hoping those words would help him.

He looked up at me again. „Are you okay now? Is...is it gone?"

„Yes." I nodded. „I had to go to chemo again and had to get some surgeries done, but I'm fine now...cancer free again, that's why I came back." I smiled a little. „So, there is nothing to worry about. I still have to take some medication, that's why I can't drink alcohol, but I am happy and you should be happy too. Please be happy, Harry."

„I am happy, very happy for you. You deserve to live...more than anyone else." He smiled, wiping his tears away with his hand. „And now I get why your hair is a little bit shorter than it was before."

I let out a little laugh. „Yeah, it is. Yours is almost longer than mine."

„Almost." He stated.

„Almost." I repeated, smiling.

And there it was, the smile I missed so much. It was finally back after so long. His true smile, like a sunshine.
The feeling in my stomach was back too as our eyes locked.
Butterflies...like I had butterflies in my stomach. Did we just have a moment?
No, surely not. It couldn't be. I had to stop imagining things.

„So, Y/n?" He broke the silence that seemed to last forever. I didn't mind it though, it was a comfortable silence. Just us two, me and him. „Maybe it's a stupid question now that I know everything, but I want to hear the real answer to it."

„Go ahead." I said.

„How have you really been? Because I know you couldn't have been okay like you told me last week."

Somehow, his question, this simple question, made me burst out into tears right there. All the emotions I held back during these two years came out now. All at once.
Having no one to talk to about all of this besides the doctors and nurses, was not great. I didn't show my emotions to them. At night, as soon as I was alone, I cried myself to sleep at the hospital, not knowing how much time I had left, rethinking everything. At some points, I couldn't do it anymore and was one click away from calling Harry. Oh how many times I thought about it. I needed him so much...so, so much. I thought about my decision and if I really made the right one, because I knew I needed him with me more than anything else in the world, but couldn't do this to him again. So I eventually got myself together and tried to ignore all of these thoughts to focus on me and my life.

Now, I stood in front of Harry, crying my eyes out without even having said a word to him. I sorted my thoughts, trying to find what I should tell him first, but soon felt myself being pulled into his arms. One of his hands placed on the back of my head, the other one on my back. He pulled me close to his chest and I wrapped my arms tight around his body, pressing my face into his chest.

„Shh, it's okay." He soothed me.

„It was so hard...and it looked so bad." I let out. „I thought I was going to die...and never see you again. Everything always hurt...my medication made me sick, chemo was awful and made me even more sick and the surgeries took my last strength and patience away from me." I cried into his chest.

**HARRYS POV**
It tore me apart, hearing how she felt and what happened. If I only knew about it... It was heartbreaking to see how all of this affected her and hurt her physically but also emotionally. I got why she didn't tell me, but it still hurt me, that she didn't and had to go through all of this by herself.

„I wanted to quit, Harry...I wanted to give up and just-."

„Don't say it, please." I whispered in her ear to stop her. I didn't even want to think about it. „I'm so sorry you had to go through this again, I am so, so sorry." I rocked from left to right with her in my arms. „But you did it again. It's incredible, you know? You fought and beat cancer again...you're here, alive." I whispered in her ear.

I let go of her and took a fresh tissue out of my pocket, carefully wiping away the tears on her cheeks.

„Please don't cry, love." I told her with a little smile on my face. „I hate to see you sad. Tonight should be all about you winning your Brit."

„It's your fault that I'm crying." She let out a cute laugh. „And it's not just about me, you guys won a Brit too in case you forgot."

„Riiight." I slapped my forehead, jokingly to make her laugh.

„God, I look like a mess, don't I?" She asked me, drying the last few tears with the tissue I gave her.

„No, you look perfect, don't worry." I told her and she smiled at that.

„Alright, thanks." She nodded. „We probably should go back in."

„Yeah, we should." I agreed. „Hey, thank you for telling me."

„I think it's good that you pushed me a bit, I had to let it out at some point and it feels good, that you know it now. But can you please do me a favor and not tell anyone yet? I don't know when I'll be ready to tell the world."

„Of course." I nodded. „I won't tell anyone."

„Thank you. Now, let's get back inside."

„After you." I smiled at her.