The One After [SHAWN MENDES]

Chapter 4

Despite his promise to 'be in touch,' I haven't heard from a certain handsome singer. That has not stopped me from thinking about him, which is a total nuisance. I don't want to waste my rare free moments looking at his social media posts online or stalking pics his fans share from tour, yet I keep doing it. I've never been the type for celebrity crushes, so having one now is infuriating!

I hate that he's cast a spell on me. It's weird, because the night of the cruise, I'd been pretty chill and wasn't starstruck at all. It sunk in later that I'd met Shawn Mendes and could have hooked up with him.

Talk about a missed opportunity.

That night my gut instinct had been to say no, and I can't shake that even if I have regrets. Unfortunately my gut hasn't clued me into why it had reservations, so I'm chalking it up to not wanting to violate my no-sex-with-guests code.

Something about him intrigues me, which was the same word he'd used when he asked for my number. There's a depth beyond that beautiful face and perfect body and I want to know more about what is there. Why did he pretend to drink? What caused the sadness in his eyes?

I think I know the answer to the second question.

Camila Cabello.

Maybe she was the answer to the first question, too. Was his heart broken so badly that he couldn't even enjoy a night out with his friends? If so, it's for the best that I didn't fuck him. It' would be stupid to risk catching feelings for a guy who is still recovering from his last relationship, and I know I might fall hard for Shawn Mendes if I ever have contact with him again.

I set my pen down and stared at my journal, fighting the urge to tear the pages I'd just written out of the leather bound book and rip them to shreds. I'd been journaling for ten years, and I didn't allow myself to destroy the words that cathartically flowed out of me, so they were there to stay.

Writing down my thoughts and feelings was how I coped with the death of my mom. I'd been in middle school when she sat me down and explained that she had an inoperable tumor in her brain. Within a year she was gone. My dad sent me to a grief counselor who suggested I write everything down since I was resistant to sharing how I felt. I still preferred putting my thoughts on paper over talking. I didn't want to bring Shawn up to my friends because they'd either tease me mercilessly or tell me how stupid I was to not bang him when I had the chance, so for now it was my secret.

"You're so dramatic," I muttered to myself as I slammed the journal shut. "You spent a couple hours with someone famous and then he made a move. You don't actually like him and he definitely doesn't like you, he just got to you because he's so fucking good looking."

I closed my eyes and pictured him, which somehow led to thoughts of what he'd look like naked. "No! Forget about him! It's been over a month and he's not going to call or text!" I said loudly.

My phone dinged and for a split second I thought I'd manifested a message from him. It was Briya suggesting that I meet her and Fallon for brunch. I had the day off, so there was no reason not to go, and honestly, some breakfast food sounded incredible. I replied that I'd meet them at The Morning After in thirty minutes.

"I never know what to get here," Bri whined as she looked over the menu. "Everything sounds so good."

"What'd you get last time?" I asked as I set my menu down. I knew I wanted the blueberry and brie waffle sandwich with a side of bacon.

"I got French toast. Do I want sweet or savory today?"

Fallon took a sip of her mimosa. "Go for savory this time. I'm getting 'The Wreckage'."

"Good choice," I nodded. I'd had that item before, and the combination of home fries, cheese curds, hollandaise, several meats, and a fried egg was to die for. "Wanna share? We can split our plates."

"Perfect," Fallon said.

"What about me?" Briya asked.

"Get something different and we'll divide it three ways," I said.

She lit up. "Okay! Fun! I'm going to get the fancy avocado toast."

We finished round one of the mimosas while we waited for our food and chatted about the cruise the night before.

"Were the guys extra creepy or was it just me?" Briya queried.

"They were bad, but thank god for Brody. Did you see him threaten to have the guy who kept smacking Ellen's ass arrested? I love that he stands up for his employees," Fallon said.

"He's like a pimp who takes good care of his ladies," I joked.

"Ew, Lucy! Don't say that, because that means we're whores," Bri whispered.

"Have any of you ever been mistaken for one?" I asked.

Fallon shook her head. "Not that I know of. I've suspected that some people know we're not guests, but no one has ever offered me money for sex."

"I'd be so insulted," Briya said.

"It happened to me in June. I get why, too," I told them.

Fallon frowned. "I hope you punched whoever called you that."

"Like I said, I see why he thought it and he was apologetic after, so no harm was done. Maybe I should have fucked him and charged two thousand dollars, and then I could pay for our brunches all summer."

"Is that the going rate?" Briya asked.

I shrugged. "I have no idea, but he was rich enough to afford that."

"You'd have to be really good for two grand," Fallon theorized. "And you might be expected to do things you don't want to do."

"I think I'm good, but no one is going in holes I haven't approved."

The waitress arrived with our food and we divided the plates so that we each had a sampling of everything. We were halfway through eating when Fallon waved her fork at me. "Was it Shawn Mendes who propositioned you?! You said it was last month and the person was rich. You were with him that night. It was him, wasn't it?"

"Shhhh!" I whispered. "Don't say his name out loud!"

"Holy shit. Shawn Mendes is a freak who likes hookers?" Bri gasped.

"I swear to god, if you say his name again I'm walking out!" I couldn't believe that the cat was out of the bag, though I only had my own stupidity to thank for that.

Briya finished chewing the big bite of food she'd put in her mouth. "So was he like, 'hey baby, how much for a blowie in the bathroom?' or was he more subtle?" She imitated his voice perfectly.

"We never got to the point where he asked my price. He invited me home, and when I declined he was surprised since he thought I was a high class hooker."

"It doesn't make sense," Fallon said. "Why would someone that hot need to hire someone to have sex with him?"

"I don't think it's that he couldn't get it from someone else. He probably wanted a stress-free fuck with a person paid to be discreet," I answered.

"Fangirls are problematic, I bet," Briya said with a nod. "And you never know what to expect with a rando you've just met."

"Exactly." I sat back and patted my stomach. "I'm so full. I'm going home and taking a long nap."

"No changing the subject," Fallon snipped. "Why didn't you do him?"

"I would have," Briya added.

"I turned him down because it felt wrong. Plus, you know I won't hook up with a guest."

"You're allowed to make an exception to that rule when it's a celebrity. Did it feel wrong because he thought you were a whore?" Fallon wasn't letting this drop.

"It was an honest mistake and I get why he came to that conclusion. His mood was off and he wasn't very flirty or charming with me, so I declined."

Bri put her hand on mine. "No regrets?"

"None. I know I made the right decision," I fibbed.