The One After [SHAWN MENDES]

Chapter 43

The girls and I were at our usual brunch spot. They were drinking mimosas and I had plain orange juice.

"You aren't preggers are you?" Briya inquired as she pointed to my glass. "Because you're still not drinking and you've got dark circles under your eyes. It would be really shitty to keep something that big from us!"

"Thanks for pointing out that I look like crap, Bri. I'm just super tired today, and I am definitely not pregnant. I had a blood test done at my gyno appointment before I went on the pill, so there's zero chance."

Fallon grinned. "About time you went on it. Are you having condomless sex now?"

"I have another week until it's safe. I should get my period that Tuesday if I start the placebo pills on Sunday, right? Maybe we can try it out on Monday."

"Have you been tested for STDs?" Fallon asked.

"I was, but I don't know if he's been. Do I ask?"

She shrugged. "You two weren't exclusive until recently. He may have been fooling around, though presumably he wrapped it. It's better to be safe than sorry."

"I guess this is something I need to discuss with Shawn."

The waitress set our food in front of us. I was still full from the Italian feast I'd eaten the night before, but as soon as I saw my chicken and waffles, my hunger returned full force.

"What's it like dating someone who eats like Shawn?" Fallon asked as she watched me tear into the crispy fried breast.

I chewed my food. "I don't love it, but what am I gonna do?"

"You could convert and become a vegan," Briya joked.

"Never going to happen. I will, however, try to make some things we can both eat."

"My brother is vegan," Fallon said. "I'll ask him for some cookbook recommendations. We always have a tofu turkey on Christmas in addition to the real thing. I tried it once and it wasn't that bad."

"But it wasn't good, was it?" I asked. "Just like that pasta my aunt made Shawn wasn't terrible, but it wasn't like real pasta."

After brunch, we walked around the area and did a little early Christmas shopping. Shawn's condo was only two blocks away on the other side of the train tracks, so after the girls left, I walked over to his place, taking the Puente de Luz bridge. He'd given me the entry code, so I scrolled through my texts until I found it and keyed in the numbers to enter the building. I envied this level of security since anyone could come and go in my apartment complex.

I took the elevator to the eleventh floor and walked down the hall to his door before knocking. He opened it and gave me a broad smile when he saw me.

"What a nice surprise," Shawn said as he let me in. "I was just thinking about how I missed you."

We'd decided to do our own things all day since we'd been together so much lately. Talking about him over brunch got me missing him, too, which was why I popped in.

"If you're busy with music stuff, I won't stick around," I told him.

"I was just sitting at my piano trying something out, but it can wait."

"I don't mind if you keep playing. I'll sit on the couch, and I promise I won't disturb you."

"That's not ideal for me, but I appreciate the offer. How was brunch?" he asked.

"Delish. I had chicken and waffles."

"Sounds amazing. Do you want a coffee? I was about to make myself some."

I followed him into the kitchen and hopped up on the counter. "No thanks."

"Have you heard from your family today? Did everyone approve of me?" he asked as he poured boiling water through the sieve.

"Not yet, but I know they were excited to meet you and not just because of who you are. I've never brought a guy to a family event so it was a big deal."

"I like being the first man to meet the fam. It makes me feel special."

I felt the strongest urge to say 'I let you meet them because I love you' but I stopped myself. If I said it and he didn't say the words back, it would hurt. "Did you check to see if everyone was respectful with the photos? If they weren't, I can handle it."

"Nothing has come up yet, but it often takes a day or two. I don't care if your cousins' pics surface, but I don't want our relationship outed that way."

"Because you have plans for a huge reveal?" I teased. "Maybe an Instagram story of us with lots of hearts?"

"I'm sorry if it feels like I'm downplaying what we have, but we don't need the attention that will come from going completely public. We can be seen out together, which will bring speculation, but as soon as I confirm that we're a couple, the paparazzi will start hovering, which is hell."

"I wasn't being serious, Shawn, but did all that impact your last relationship?" He'd told me to ask questions rather than jump to conclusions, so I felt okay saying this.

"It's not why we broke up, if that's what you're asking."

"But you hated being followed?"

He scowled. "I expected it in certain situations, but having five people point cameras at you when you are trying to take your groceries to the car is a fucking drag. They shout questions, too, which sucks even worse."

"Maybe they wouldn't care about me since I'm not famous."

"Do you really want to test that out? It'll happen eventually no matter what, and you'll get why I'm resistant to putting my personal life out there again," he replied bitterly.

I opted to shift the subject slightly. "While we're on the subject of us...I'm on the pill now and in about a week I'll be fully protected. Obviously we can continue to use condoms, but if you've been tested, we can try going without. I have my test results if you want to see them."

He took a sip of his coffee. "Yeah? That's great. I can get tested. We just have to be honest with each other."

"Honest about what?"

"If we decide at any point that we don't want to be exclusive, we have to communicate that."

A sinking feeling filled my body. "Do you anticipate fucking other women?"

"No. That's not what I'm saying. I'll be gone a lot between working on my album and my Europe tour. Separations can be hard, and I would never expect you to wait around for me. Things might change between us before then anyway."

"Change in which direction?" I asked.

"Either one. You never know how things will go. My current outlook is to live day by day and enjoy the present instead of worrying about what might happen or planning for the future."

I hopped off the counter. "I'm gonna let you get back to your music. I have a big list of chores to do since I've been ignoring them this past week. My laundry basket is overflowing, so I might grab a book and head to the laundromat."

"You don't have a washer and dryer?"

"Nope. There's some in the basement of my building but they stink. Literally. They smell like mold."

"Just bring it here. I need to do a load, too, so we can wash our stuff together," he suggested.

"The laundromat is just down the block from my apartment, and I actually enjoy the vibe. Plus it's a great place for people watching. I'll see you tomorrow like we originally planned."

He looked at me with an odd expression, but if he had anything significant to say, he kept it to himself. "I'll come by your place around five. Want me to bring dinner?"

"Sure. After the way I've eaten this weekend, some of your food will be good for me, just no vegan cheese. I hate that stuff."

"Got it." He closed the gap between us and gave me a deep kiss. After it ended he held my chin so that I was looking into his eyes. "I'm really happy with what we have, Lulu. You know that right?"

"Yes. I know," I replied, though I didn't fully mean it.