The One After [SHAWN MENDES]

Chapter 109

After seeing his expression change, I climbed off him, suddenly feeling very exposed and vulnerable.

"Lulu," he said softly as he watched me. "Don't do this."

I grabbed my clothes and hurried to the hall bathroom to pee. As I sat on the toilet, I willed myself not to cry in front of him. I knew what I was getting into when I entered his condo, so I had only myself to blame for allowing things to go as far as they did, though I felt like he'd intentionally misled me.

Once I was dressed, I took several deep breaths and exited the bathroom with plans of making a beeline for the door. The less we said to each other, the better.

"You're leaving?" he asked sadly from where he stood in the kitchen. He was still flushed from having sex and his flannels hung low on his hips, exposing his v-line.

"Why on earth would I stay?"

He cautiously walked around the counter island to where I was putting on my shoes. "Because we both want you to."

"Not true! Maybe I wanted that five minutes ago, but the face you made when I asked if you'd forgiven me changes everything. I cannot believe I let myself be manipulated this way."

He was obviously shocked by my statement. "I did not manipulate you!"

"Bullshit. I'm not saying you're solely to blame for any of this because I'm a grown woman who had the opportunity to leave, but you cannot deny that you played with my feelings."

"You showed up at my door!"

I rolled my eyes. "You've got me there. Let's just ignore the fact that I didn't think you'd be here! I had no intention of seeing you!"

"There was always a chance I'd be home, and you didn't have to come in!"

"You shouldn't have invited me!" I replied angrily. "But that's not even the worst of it! You fucking seduced me! Telling me you love me and want me and always will was pretty low considering you can't forgive me! If you wanted to fuck me you should have been honest about your intentions, not make me feel like there's hope for us!"

"I was honest," he said through gritted teeth. "I love you, and maybe I let my need to be close to you cloud my judgement, but I don't regret it. We're human and we gave into very human desires."

"We're broken up! We should not be hooking up no matter how much we both want it!"

"You didn't feel that way when my face was between your legs, did you?" he spat back at me while his eyes flared hot with anger.

"Your face shouldn't be between my legs, or anywhere else on my body, unless you've forgiven me!"

He took a deep breath and inhaled slowly, and I was certain he was reciting some calming chant in his head. "I'm trying to forgive you, Lucy, but it's going to take time. That's why we're taking this break."

"We're not on a break."

"Given that we just fucked, we're obviously not a hundred percent broken up," he countered.

"We definitely are. I told you that we could either try to save our relationship or we were done. I'm not going to wait in the wings while you figure your shit out! The fact that we did this," I gestured towards the piano, "proves that we should be fighting to stay together."

"I need space."

"Awesome, then don't expect me to fuck you!"

"I didn't expect you to do anything, but when I realized you wanted the same thing I did, I went for it. Was that so wrong?"