The One After [SHAWN MENDES]

Chapter 21

"Are you excited?" Briya asked me as she climbed into my bed.

"Of course she is. It's a pretty big deal to have banged one of the people you're about to watch on TV," Fallon said.

Because my apartment was tiny, my television was in my bedroom. I preferred watching things in bed, so it was ideal for me. The only time it was an issue was when I wanted to watch things with others. Briya and Fallon asked to view the VMAs with me and since neither of them had cable, my place was the best option. It was a good thing that my bed was big enough that we could all squeeze in together.

"I'm curious to see what he's wearing," I told my friends. "He wouldn't tell me, which makes me wonder if it's something unusual."

Over my lunch break, I'd searched all his VMA looks over the years. He was a kid the first time he went in 2015, and he was dressed in a simple black jeans and leather jacket combo. He didn't attend in 2016, but he was there the following three years and wore a suit each time. I loved his green outfit in 2019. He looked happy and confident in all the photos from that year, which I suspected came from being newly in love. 2020 was a bust because of COVID, but in 2021 he was there wearing a summery white jacket with matching flowing pants. It was my least favorite, but I respected him for taking a risk.

The downside to looking at these photos was the hundreds of pics of him with Camila came up. Some were from the time that they had their first song together, and I was positive I could see something beyond friendship in their body language and expressions. Then there was the Señorita era. I skimmed through countless images of them on and off stage looking like the literal definition of love. I found it odd that there were no joint photos of the famous couple from the 2021 show. They announced their break-up two months later, so maybe they were already struggling. His mom mentioned this when I overheard their conversation at his birthday party, though Shawn never discussed anything related to Camila with me.

The pre-show started, and we munched on popcorn as we watched the celebrities walk the famous carpet. The VMAs were the type of award show where you could go in any direction with your wardrobe. Some attendees kept it classic with beautiful ball gowns and suits, while others chose outfits that made a statement. Camila, who was performing, arrived fairly early. She was positively radiant in a satiny gown that accentuated her curves.

"She's so gorgeous," I commented with maybe a tinge of envy.

Fallon patted my hand. "Yes, she is. So what? They aren't together so it doesn't matter."

"I think she has way too much makeup on," Bri quipped.

"She's at an awards show," I said. "Of course she's done up to the maximum level. I think she pulls it off really well."

Camila gave a brief interview and spoke about what her recent album meant to her both personally and professionally. She mentioned that it had been a difficult year, which was undoubtedly a reference to Shawn, though his name wasn't spoken. Her main focus was on her personal growth, and I admired her positivity a lot.

Several other stars arrived and my friends and I commented on their looks for the night. I stuck to saying only positive things because now that I knew Shawn, I recognized that they were human beings just like me and didn't deserve to be bashed by armchair (or in this case, bed) critics. He arrived towards the end, and I let out a small gasp when I saw him.

"You fucked that," Briya said in awe.

"Did I? It doesn't seem possible. Maybe I dreamed the whole thing."

Fallon laughed. "What a dream that would be! He looks good, Lucy. Really good."

He had on a perfectly tailored shimmery black suit with an electric blue shirt underneath, which was open enough to show off his chest hair. The suit didn't have sequins or anything flashy like that, but there was this slight iridescence that gave him an other-worldly quality.

I let out a sigh as I watched him stop for photos and wave to the crowd. "Should I text him to tell him how good he looks?"

"He'd probably love that," Briya said. "Who wouldn't?"

I sent a quick message during a commercial break, though I knew he wouldn't respond until much later since there was the show and then the after-parties would follow.

Fallon took a sip of her wine. "I'm really sorry about the parting gift thing. Bri is, too. We shouldn't have filled your head with that kind of negativity."

"I'm to blame for latching on to it and reacting instead of talking to him about it. I learned my lesson."

When it was Shawn's turn to be interviewed, I listened attentively as he responded to the questions about his new music, movie, and tour. He spoke in a different tone than he used with me, and I was thrown by how calm and polished it was. It made sense that he had a public side that wasn't the same as his personal one. He finished up and blew a kiss towards the camera before walking away.

Briya poked me in the ribs. "Maybe that was for you like when he waved to you during his concert."

"Doubt it, but it's cute," I said with a laugh.

"He definitely knows what he's doing," Fallon observed. "His on-camera persona is a fetching blend of sweet boy-next-door and sexy pop star. He's the type that grandmothers approve of and teens get off to."

Briya leaned towards Fallon. "Lucy gets off to it, too," she stage whispered.

"Shut up!" I said as I blushed.

The actual show started and we were blown away by the opening number. Shawn presented one of the earlier awards, and he was even more charming in this role than he'd been during the interview. Camila came on stage towards the end and was incredible. Countless times the camera cut to Shawn who was sitting in one of the front rows. He was clearly enjoying the song and was all smiles as he clapped along to the beat. I wondered if he knew his reaction to seeing his ex perform was going to be scrutinized by millions.

The show concluded and we moved to the living room.

"We should get going," Fallon said with a yawn. "Why do they always have these shows on nights that people have work the next day?"

"I get to sleep in an hour because I've got a dentist appointment," Briya added happily. "I love getting my teeth cleaned."

"I hate the dentist." I shuddered at the thought of sitting in the chair while someone touched my teeth.

"Did you have a bad experience?" Bri asked.

I shook my head. "No. I just get anxious when I'm there."

The girls left and I tidied the kitchen before going to my room where I made sure there were no stray popcorn kernels in my sheets. I'd washed them that morning, so my pillow no longer smelled like Shawn, though I was hopeful it might have his scent again after he returned to Toronto. That wouldn't be for seven weeks, and I occasionally wondered if he'd still be interested by then. We weren't technically monogamous, so there was always the possibility that he'd meet someone new on the road.

Or rekindle an old flame.

That was my biggest fear. He undoubtedly still had feelings for Camila and if she wanted him back, he might go sprinting to wherever she was.

After running through my nighttime routine, I checked my phone one last time. It was early on the west coast, so I hoped Shawn might get a second to text me before the parties, but so far he hadn't. I searched his name and the VMAs so I could browse the red carpet photos, and he looked just as ethereal in the still pics as he'd looked on TV.

"Have fun tonight," I told an especially sexy photo of him, "but maybe not too much fun."