The One After [SHAWN MENDES]

Chapter 113

The thumping bass at Lavender Menace was giving me a splitting headache, so I went to the bar to get a Diet Coke while Bri and Fallon were in the bathroom. Digging through my bag, I found a ziploc baggie with Advil and popped three in my mouth before washing them down with the cold drink.

We were at the lesbian-owned bar from my dream, which I'd known about for a couple years since it was pretty trendy. I'd specifically asked that we go to this place because I knew it was unlikely Shawn would show up. After Hawaii, he'd spent some time in LA but now he was back home. I knew this from his Instagram, which I'd been checking occasionally. If he'd been hooking up, he was keeping it discreet since there were no new sightings or pics circulating the gossip sites. My social media ban obviously didn't stick.

It had been a month and we hadn't spoken, which was no surprise given how we left things. My besties occasionally got together with Meg and Brian, and I'd been invited a few times, but it would hurt too much to be with Shawn's friends so I declined.

The girls returned. "Are you done drinking?" Fallon asked when she saw my pop.

"I've got a headache," I explained. "I took Advil, so if it goes away, I might have another cocktail."

"I think you mean pussytail!" Briya said with a laugh, referring to the establishment's clever name. I'd tried their purple signature drink, which was called Votes for Women, and I loved it.

"Maybe you need to eat something," Fallon said to me in a very pointed way.

I'd lost more weight, but it's not like I didn't eat; I just never ate a full plate of everything. I'd googled so I knew losing your appetite or having things taste off was a sign of depression, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I was seeing my therapist pretty regularly, but I was hopeful that one day I'd wake up and be over Shawn. I had not, however, gone into my eating issues in therapy because I knew I could force myself to eat if I really wanted to.

I nodded. "Let's get some apps to share."

We ordered some Cajun sweet potato fries and Frito nachos, and while we waited for our food, the girls told me about how decorating their new apartment was going.

"We had a bit of a spat over colors," Briya said as she gave Fallon a playful poke in the ribs. "I wanted the whole place decked out in a monochromatic theme like your apartment, but my girl here isn't into that."

Fallon rolled her eyes. "You make it sound like I don't like Lucy's teal or turquoise or aqua- I always forget what it is- decor. I think it's beautiful, but there's no way we'd ever be able to decide on one color we both love."

"I don't see why you hate purple so much!" Bri argued. "Look around you! This whole place is purple and it's amazing."

"Sorry, but I don't like the color. I don't like most pinks, either. I love a nice neutral shade like beige."

Briya made a gagging noise. "That's so boring!"

"If I was to redo my place, I'd probably go with a neutral central color," I said. "I think gray with colorful curtains and pillows would be beautiful."

"You've got the money from your settlement, so why not give your apartment a makeover?" Fallon asked.

"My stuff is in great shape so it feels wasteful."

"You can donate the furniture you have," Briya suggested. "That's what we're doing. We found a center that takes things for abused women who are starting new lives. They often leave their partners with next to nothing, so they can use all the help they can get. We're going to donate clothes, too."

"I love that idea and I love you both for doing that. Text me the name of the center so that I have it if I change my mind. You never told me what colors you finally decided on for your new place."