The One After [SHAWN MENDES]

Chapter 13

I secured the deadbolt on my door after saying goodbye to the girls and was turning off all the lights in my living area when I heard a soft knock on the door. One of them probably forgot something.

"Back so soon, bitches?" I said loudly before I flung open the door without looking through the peephole. I gasped audibly when I saw that it wasn't Briya and Fallon.

"Excuse me?" Shawn asked, clearly confused.

"Shit. It's you."

"It's nice to see you, too," he replied with a pained expression.

"No...sorry...I was expecting to see my friends. They were just here and I thought one of them left their phone or something."

"I saw them in the lobby and recognized both from the cruise. There was some serious whispering and giggling as I walked past them," he said.

"Sounds like them."

"Can I come in?" He was still standing in the hallway and I was blocking the entrance.

"Yes, of course."

He followed me to the living room and looked around. "I love your sense of style."

My home was decorated in what I liked to call 'early twenty-first century Swedish,' which meant everything came from IKEA. My cousin worked for the store in North York and got me a huge discount on the already-affordable furniture and decor, so even though my apartment was tiny, it looked nicely put together.

"Thanks," I said. "I'm happy here, aside from the kitchen." It was literally a galley behind my living area with a counter and small versions of all the necessary appliances.

"Do you cook?" he peered into my kitchen to check it out.

"When I'm in the mood. My dad and uncles own businesses related to food, so I grew up learning how to bake and prepare various recipes."

"Cool."

"Would you like to sit down? I've got some fantastic cheap box red wine," I offered as I tried to be hospitable even though I had no idea why he was in my apartment.

"I'd love a glass."

I refilled my stemless wine glass and poured another before joining him on my aqua couch, which was more of a loveseat since I had limited space. Inky, who'd been sleeping on her perch by the window in my room, strolled over and maneuvered between his legs.

"Hey there, tiny panther," he said as he reached down to pet her. She hopped up on his lap and let out a loud meow to let him know she wanted more love.

"She's an attention whore. You can ignore her if you want, or I can take her to my room."

"Are you kidding? I love animals. She's really affectionate for a cat."

"I've raised her since she was tiny. My uncle Ollie found a litter of abandoned kittens behind his pizza parlor and thankfully he found homes for all of them. I picked her because I read once that people choose black cats last because of stupid superstitious beliefs," I explained.

"You chose wisely. She's amazing." Inky was now up on his shoulder nuzzling his ear. "Does she have her own social media account? It seems like most pets do."

"Ha! I don't even post on my account so it would be a waste of time."

He took out his phone. "I want to follow you."

I gave him my screen name, which was embarrassingly 'MissLucyG98' and watched as he followed me.

"You really don't post at all, but I'm honored to see that I'm one of the twenty-seven people you follow," he said.

This was all very nice, but I had a burning question. "What brings you by?"

He coughed nervously and took a sip of wine. "All day I kept writing you texts and deleting them before sending. I couldn't adequately say what I wanted in a brief message."

"You made yourself pretty clear last night."

After I told him that I didn't want to be 'just another NDA,' I panicked and hurried towards his door. He stopped me before I escaped and told me that he understood, but that he wasn't looking for a girlfriend. He said the words kindly, and I knew he didn't want to hurt me, but it still stung.

"I know what I said, but I don't know if you understood what I meant," he said.

"Well here's my take on it," I started, my courage fueled by wine. "I stupidly made it obvious that I wanted more than just one night with you, which says a lot about how I feel. You then told me that you aren't interested in having a girlfriend, which led me to believe that I am wasting my time. There are no hard feelings on my part, and if I'm being honest, I accepted your birthday party invitation hoping we'd have one great night together. I didn't expect more at that point, so we were on the same page. It's when we started talking that my feelings shifted."

"Lucy, isn't it clear that I was in it for more than one night? Do you really think I'd fly you to New York just to get laid?"

I couldn't help but smile. "I thought maybe it was something famous people did."

"I'm sure some do, but not me. I like you. I liked you the night I met you! But I meant it when I said I can't be in a relationship right now. My head isn't in a place that it would be healthy for either of us. There's an area in between commitment and a hook-up, and that's what I was aiming for with you. I fucked up with the NDA, and I apologize for the pillow. I've been with a couple women since last fall, because I was really missing physical contact. It's hard to go from being with someone nonstop- sharing a bed, sharing intimacy, sharing a life and a pet- to having no one."

Inky, who was now on his chest, started pawing at one of Shawn's curls on his forehead. I watched as he gently moved her to his lap before she could accidentally scratch him.

"I can see why you didn't want to text all that," I told him.

"I know it's a lot to unpack, but I needed to say my piece."

I looked down at my hands. "I appreciate it, but I'm not sure where we go from here."

"Can I tell you where I'd like us to go?" he asked.

It was wrong, but I really hoped the answer to that question was 'your bedroom.' Considering I hadn't showered and was a little gassy from eating a whole tub of ice cream, that wasn't a real option. I nodded in response.

"I want to see you again. I wish I could take you out on a date, but I'm not about to be photographed with anyone. It might-" he cut himself off abruptly before continuing. "You don't need to be judged by the rest of the world, which will happen the first time we're caught together."

It might what? Upset or bother Camila? Was that what almost slipped out of his mouth? He probably didn't want her to know if he was seeing anyone. Was it because he wanted to keep the door open with her? I thought about asking, but I knew he didn't want to talk about his ex with me.

"Lucy?" he prodded when I hadn't responded.

"Sorry. I was thinking about how it's late and I have work tomorrow. I get what you're saying. No dating."

"We can still see each other. Are you free for dinner on Wednesday?" he asked.

"I've got a pretty busy social calendar, but I think I can fit that in," I joked.

"How about you come over and we'll get take-out. You can choose another movie since you've done great so far. As for anything else, we can play it by ear. I don't want you to think I expect you to stay over."

"Did the stain come out of the pillowcase?" The question popped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

He chuckled. "I didn't even try to wash it since I was pissed at myself about that whole incident. I threw it away. I promise that won't happen again...if you end up in my bed, that is."

The way he said the last part made my heart do a flip flop. It was pretty obvious that he wanted me in his bed, and I sensed that he knew just how badly I wanted to be there, too. Would the fourth time be the charm?