The Hunter's Soulmate (Dean Winchester x Reader)

Chapter 21: I'm So Sorry

The boys were making some final preparations in their motel room when a knock sounded at the door.

"(Y/N)," Sam breathed, pulling the door open.

You pushed past him, entering the room with determination, which quickly faltered once your eyes landed on Dean.

He looked at you with pure shock in his eyes, not a single word coming to his mind to express the storm of feelings raging inside of him upon meeting your gaze.

"Look," you started. "I came here because- I came here- I-" you stammered.

Dean straightened up, turning to face you fully. "You're not supposed to be here," he said sternly.

You looked at him, hurt evident in your eyes. "I- I had to. I had to be here."

"I think you two should talk in private," Sam interrupted, grabbing Castiel by his sleeve and pulling him out the door with him.

You looked at the door as it shut, unable to look at Dean again.

"You left me behind," you spoke quietly. "You- You said those things and then you left me behind."

"You ran," Dean said stiffly. There was no anger in his voice. How could he be angry when he felt so damn hurt?

You looked up at him, staring him directly into his eyes as a tear slipped down your cheek. "Can you blame me?" you called out. "After weeks and weeks of you being so hot and cold with me and then all of a sudden you kiss me! I was confused, Dean. I was overwhelmed and I needed a second to calm down."

"A second? You avoided me the rest of the night!" he argued.

"I didn't mean to," you said weakly. "I don't know why I did that."

"You need to go back to the bunker. We were just about to head out and you're not coming with us," he insisted. "Go back."

You shook your head. "I can't. I can't let you head into that nest of demons without me."

"Why?" Dean asked sceptically.

"Because I can't bear the thought of losing you, Dean! You could get yourself killed out there for me because some stupid demons have it out for me! I can't let you do that."

Dean stared at you, eyes widened in surprise. He swallowed twice before even daring to speak. "I'm sorry," he breathed out.

Your face fell. "What for?"

"It's me, (Y/N). Those demons are after me. The only reason they want to hurt you is because of me! Because I-" he stopped himself.

"Because you're my soulmate," you finished quietly.

He nodded. "Yes."

"I- I don't even know what that means," you stammered. "What does that mean?"

"Look, it doesn't matter right now, okay?"

"Doesn't matter?" you called out.

Dean raised his hand, silencing you. "What I mean is that, right now, what is most important is that Sam, Cas, and I take out those demons. Once they're gone, you'll be safe again."

"And then what?" you sniffled. "You'll force me back into my old life? Force me out of yours?"

Dean looked at you with a strained expression on his face. "It's what's best for you," he said sadly.

You shook your head. "I'll never go back to that life. That wasn't me. I wasn't happy."

"And you're happy now?" Dean challenged. "Demons are trying to kill you! Monsters are out there and you know it! How could this life possibly be better than the one you had?"

"Because this life has you in it, Dean!" you burst, tears rolling down your cheeks.

Dean took a step back, his heart hammering in his chest. "(Y/N)..."

You frantically shook your head. "Please," you begged. "Please stop trying to push me away. You've been doing that since I remembered who I was and it hurts, Dean. Just be honest with me. For once, just be honest with me."

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment to steady himself. "I- " he tried. "I don't know what to say."

"That's okay," you whispered. "It can wait. We can talk about this later, okay? Just promise me that there will be a later."

Dean stepped towards you, gently taking your face into his hands. His eyes held a look of anguish as he slowly leaned in. He pressed his lips to yours, softly. So soft you could barely feel it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Wha-"

In a swift motion, Dean grabbed you and thrust you into the bathroom, quickly shutting and barricading the door before you had the chance to stop him.

"Dean!" you yelled. "Dean, what the hell are you doing?!"

He leaned against the door, his eyes squeezed shut at the crushing guilt in his chest. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. It's for your own good. I'm keeping you safe."

"Dean!" you shouted, pounding on the door. "Let me out! Don't do this!"

He shook his head, stepping away from the door. "I'll come back for you, (Y/N). I just need to know that you're safe."

You sank to the floor, sobs crashing through your body like hostile waves. "Dean!" you begged. "Dean, please!"

He squeezed his eyes shut, wanting nothing more than to hold and soothe you and make everything okay. But he couldn't. There were demons waiting for him and the only way he could keep you safe was to make sure you couldn't follow him.

"Dean!" you cried desperately. "Please don't leave me here."

A tear rolled down his cheek, his heart clenching in anguish at the sound of your broken voice and sobs. He cursed at himself before pulling open the door, instantly falling to his knees to gather you into his arms.

He held you tightly against his chest with one hand as the other stroked your hair soothingly. His chin rested on the top of your head as he breathed deeply to steady both you and himself.

"Dean," you wept.

He nodded, pressing a kiss against your hair. "I'm here. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, princess."

"Please don't go," you whispered.

"I have to, sweetheart. I have to take care of this."

"Then let me come with you!" you pleaded.

He shook his head. "You're staying here."

"Dean -"

"Hey," he stopped you. He gently pushed you back so he could look you in the eyes. His hand stroked your hair. "Do this for me," he begged.

Your lip trembled. "What if something bad happens?"

"We'll have Cas with us. It'll be alright."

You took a deep breath, wiping the tears from your cheeks. "Okay," you whispered.

Dean smiled softly at you, "Thank you."

You watched as he got up, stepping away from you and towards the door. "Come back. In one piece."

He offered you a reassuring smile. "I will, sweetheart."

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