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Moe #4

Requested by @Flaming_Mew_2, thanks for requesting! Hope you like it.

You looked around cautiously as you walked hurriedly down the pavement. Though not generally a REALLY dangerous place, Springfield could be just as dangerous as anywhere when one is walking out this late. It was getting dark and you tried to rush home from work.

"Why did i have to miss the bus?" You sighed to yourself as you felt a tiny drop of rain splash your open hand.

"I dunno, but it's just as well for me" You heard a smug voice say with a valley boy accent. You turned around and gasped to see the wanted criminal they called, "Snake Jailbird".

You wanted to scream but he grabbed your mouth and you were scared and panic stricken as you didn't know what would follow. "Now, lady, you know how this goes, just gimme the purse or you'll get it!" You didn't know what it was but you didn't want to wait around to find out. You bit his hand and kicked him in the shins and then panicked as you realised what you did and so ran off as fast as you could. You ran to the other side of the street where you saw a bar. You swung the door open and then quickly shut it before taking time to get your breath back. You didn't realise that everyone in the tavern, though there wasn't that many, were all staring at your panting form. You eventually noticed and a blush spread across your face and so you chuckled nervously and took a seat.

Your eyes then fell upon the bartender and you both stopped in your tracks. It was your old friend, Moe Szyslak! You smiled as you remembered the good times.

"Hey, shithead! Long time no see!" You laughed as he noticed you.

"(y/n)? What's up, bitch?" He said warmly.

Homer stared at you both in confusion. This was nothing new as most things confused him, but this was particularly unusual behaviour.

"You two know each other?" He scratched his bald head and took another sip of his drink.

"Oh, sorry, Homer, forgot to fill you in. This is, (y/n), she's a massive freak" He said affectionately.

You laughed as he said this. It had been so long since you two had last talked. You don't know how you ever lost touch. Despite your strange ideas of friendliness, you both had remained firm friends.

"Ain't she something, Homer?" Moe smiled as he introduced you.

"She is. Unfortunately i can't think what that something is"

"Ok..." It was Moe's turn to be confused now. "So, anyways, what are you doing around now, doll?"

"You mean in general or just in this particular moment? Because if you were referring to the latter, i ran in here cos some jerk tried to mug me" You frowned as you thought of the incident.

"WHAT?" He turned around put a mug down furiously. "Who did that? But you took care of him, didn't you, didn't you?" He said with so much passion that you felt embarrassed just listening to him but you got over that.

"Well my freakishly long teeth biting into his hand and kick in the shins got me out of the situation but i wouldn't really say i took care of him"

"Well then I'll finish him off" He said with a menacing tone in his voice as he went to the back of the bar. He took out a shotgun and kicked the door open. "Alright, which of you no good, scum-sucking, worthless piece of absolute good for nothing troglodytes thinks its fine to go about thieving?" He looked around angrily.

"That might've been me" Snake smiled as he approached the bartender with a gun of his own.

"Get outta here you pathetic, sorry excuse of a life form" He croaked as he fired a few warning shots. Snake got the message and ran off, leaving Moe feeling every inch the hero. "And theres more where that came from!" You thought he was amazing there, you thought he was like Rainier Wolfcastle or something.

"Moe? Thank you!" You smiled as you saw it was now safe for you to go home. In a way you were glad this happened as you reunited with your old acquaintance.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, (y/n), I'm a psycho with a shotgun, not someone trying to play hero or something"

"Well thanks anyway" You shrugged. "Well, i should be going now, but before i leave..." You threw your arms around his neck and kissed him longly and lovingly. You finished off by pulling away, waving to them all and running off, now that the streets were safe, thanks to your waste of oxygen friend.

"What. Was. That?" Homer asked, amused at the whole performance.

"I'll tell you if i ever find out myself" The flustered bartender replied as he wiped the lipstick marks off of his face.