◦•●❤♡ Simpsons imagines ♡❤●•◦

Superintendent Chalmers #3

Consider this my take on the steamed hams meme. Enjoy!

"Have you ever tried this place before?" You asked with a pleasant smile as you held onto the superintendents arm. You two had been going out for a while now and he was taking you out for dinner tonight.

"Well no" He chuckled softly. "This place has only just opened up recently and so i thought we should try it. Well, i made it, despite the directions" You both stepped into the place. It was a clean and quiet little place, very cosy and neat. He looked around approvingly as you both found a nicely fixed table and made yourself comfortable.

You both chatted a little for a while before the waiter appeared. You were both taken by surprise at who was serving you though. "SKINNER?!?" Exclaimed Chalmers in both annoyance and amazement. "Ah! Superintendent! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon" He smiled innocently at the unconvinced superintendent. 

"Actually this is dinner" You informed him but neither of them appeared to be listening to you.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, with narrowed, suspicious eyes, the principal who looked as nervous as ever.

"Well actually, mother bought this restaurant as an investment and I'm helping her out in my free time. Are you both ready to order?" 

"Eh" 

"I'll have the roast" You smiled as you placed your order.

He quickly scribbled it down. "And for you" He asked Chalmers, praying he could finally make a good impression. "I'll have the same" He lightened up a bit as he placed his order. "Very good, sir. Now excuse me" Skinner stalked off into the kitchen and left you two together again.

"He seemed nice" You said once he was gone, trying to make conversation.

"I beg to differ" He huffed.

"You know him?" You asked as you had noticed a certain chemistry between them. Not that they had to know each other well, just that they seemed to have a history.

"Well he's a principal of one of the schools i visit"

"Ah" 

He told you a little more about the man and you both just continued with a little bit of general chit-chat before something caught his attention once again. He noticed a certain substance escaping from the kitchen door. Smoke by the smell of things. "Just give me a minute, (y/n)" He said as he got up and went off to inspect. You heaved a sigh and rested your face on the palm of your hand.

"Oh egads! my roast is ruined!" cried Skinner in distress. He swiftly pulled the burnt carcass out of the oven and stared in horror at the burnt sacrifice looking meal. His eyes came to rest on the view out the window of a fast food joint. "But what if..." A plan quickly hatched in his mind. "I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?" He considered this spur of the moment idea before making his decision. "Ho ho, delightfully devilish, Seymour" He laughed wickedly. He opened the window and attempted to climb out, when he heard the worrying sound of the door swing open. He turned around and to his utmost horror, caught the sight of the superintendent standing there watching him with judging eyes.

"Superintendent! I was just...Uh..just stretching my calves on the windowsill! Isometric exercise! Care to join me? " He cringed at his own pathetic excuse.

"Why is there smile coming out of your oven, Seymour ?" He pointed to oven and asked suspiciously.

"Uh... ooh! That isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmm, steamed clams!" He rubbed his stomach in the hope he could convince his boss to believe his lies.

 Chalmers said nothing, only grunting before leaving the kitchen and seating himself down beside you to resume your date.This gave Skinner a chance to escape as he seized his opportunity and dashed out the window at top speed to purchase fast food.That left you and Chalmers with some peace and quiet but when you tried to talk, his mind seemed somewhere else and you felt you were wasting your time. "So, did you find out what was wrong?" You asked as he kept looking back at the door.  " Yes, he said it's the steam from the clams that we're having" He smiled.  "But...we were having the roast"
 He looked like he had been completely deflated as you said this and he realised you were right and this put him in an even stranger mood.
"Superintendent, I hope you're ready for some mouthwatering hamburgers! " Skinner burst through the door, proudly holding a tray of hamburgers.
" thought we were having steamed clams? " Chalmers interrogated him as he put down the tray. "Oh no, I said 'steamed hams'. That's what I call hamburgers." Skinner chuckled softly."You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?" Chalmers asked in disbelief. "Really? Wow, that's pretty interesti..." You tried to talk but you were rudely interrupted ."Yes! It's a regional dialect." He informed you two as he continued to just stand there, making you uncomfortable.

 "Uh-huh. Eh, what region?" Chalmers asked inquisitively. 

"Uh...upstate New York." Skinner nervously stated the first place that came into his mind.  "Really? Well I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams'" 

"Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression" Your waiter said as he clarified it for the superintendent.

"I see"

You started eating the burgers and you desperately hoped to resume your date with the superintendent, but the wimpy principal clearly wasn't going to let that happen. And Chalmers was just as bad!

"You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger" Chalmers stated as he took another bite out of his meal.You smiled as you saw this as a chance to talk with him again. "I thought that too, they..." But before you could finish your sentence, you were once again interrupted by the eager principal. "Hohoho, no! Patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe!" "For steamed hams?""Yes" You were just picking with your food now, disappointed and not really that hungry." Yes, and you call them steamed hams, despite the fact they are obviously grilled" Chalmers opened his burger and placed the bun aside to reveal the grill marks on the meat.Skinner had no explanation for this. "Y - Uh.. you know, the... One thing I should... excuse me for one second. "Of course." Skinner excuses himself and left for the kitchen. You were glad he was gone as you could now hopefully continue with your date, but that wasn't going to happen as you saw him return to your table once again." Well, that was wonderful" He yawned and stretched. "A good time was had by all. I'm pooped""Yes, I should be--good lord, what is happening in there?!?" Chalmers exclaimed in horror as he witnessed the kitchen going up in flames behind the door." Aurora Borealis? " Skinner racked his brains for an explanation and that was the best he could come up with. You also rubbed your eyes in disbelief at what was going on behind the door."Ah- Aurora Borealis!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen!?" " Yes! ""...May I see it?" The man asked hopefully."...No." Came a blunt answer from the waiter.
 You both left the restaurant by this time and you just wanted to go home before Chalmers paid. As you were all standing at the door, you heard a cry coming from Skinner's mother, Agnes. "Seymour! The house is on fire!" The old biddy cried. "No, mother, it's just the northern lights" He called back to reassure her.
" Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham. " Chalmers smiled back and complimented him.
"Help! HELP!!!" You both listened to her cried of despair as you left for home and you both looked back to see Skinner still standing, smiling as he gave you both a reassuring thumbs up before you both left.
 "Well that went pretty well" Chalmers smiled, pleased at the outcome of your date. "Don't you think so?"
 You sighed. "Gary, why did you take out tonight?" 
 He looked puzzled but tried to answer. "Well obviously you"  "Well then why was most of your time spent wit the waiter?" You folded your arms and asked him. He then actually thought of it all, how he paid so much attention to the principal and ignored you. "Oh, God! You're right! (Y/n), I'm so sorry" He apologised as he put his arm around you, making you feel a little better. "Don't worry, I'll make it up to you" He smiled and you smiled back as you both walked home, with you feeling a whole lot better now that you knew he loved you.