HOPELESS LOVE [CHOI SEUNGCHEOL]

CH: 9

Shasha

That night, it's still lingering in my mind, everything feels so different and I feel confused about everything, about myself and about him.

I got inside his car, I didn't know what to tell him or respond to him, I partially feel bad but half of me doesn't even regret anything, I really wanted to tell him but didn't think I will say everything like this. I let out a sigh, I saw him leaning towards me again, my eyes widen, he pulled the seatbelt. "you forgot about this"

I looked at him, unable to reply, "Don't do anything like this again, just don't. If you're upset because of me, talk to me, tell me what's wrong and tell me what did I do but don't be careless like this again." he sighed and looked at me, "what if something happened to you"

"but nothing happened" I know I was being stubborn, but I couldn't help it.

"Shasha don't be like this, what if something happened, please don't do this again" he sounded so stern, "then don't remind me again about this whole thing by saying sorry again and again" I said and looked out of the window. I just wanted everything back to normal, at least between us, I don't want this 'sorry game' to continue like this.

"I really hate it, when you keep on saying sorry and apologizing"

"okay, I won't." I heard him.

He started driving, I was looking outside. He played some ballads, the soft beautiful ballad making me feel better and I didn't realize when did I doze off.

"Shasha, are you lost somewhere?"

"HUH?" I looked at Iseukie, she took the cream colour rose from my hand. "You're lost." She said and I was still looking at her.

"wake up Shasha!! It's almost lunchtime and today's supposed to be a half-day off, that means it's time to go back home!!"

I literally forgot, about everything, he was so occupied in my mind. "Right" I looked at her and tried to come back to my senses, I was just lost. She was right.

"So I will be going back home, I kept everything in their correct place when you were lost, you were literally standing like that for past 45 minutes, what were you even thinking?" she looked at me, "Nothing... just this and that" she definitely didn't buy my lie.

"Shasha, go home and get some good rest you know. you're overworking yourself, I feel sometimes and taking a lot of stress. So go home and take a rest, okay?" I nodded at her words.

"Bye!" she waved at me, so smiled at her. I sighed, I looked at myself, did I look like a mess? Am I a mess right now? Why am I in this state? It's all because of just one person who is taking all over my mind. I should head back home, I really need a good rest. I went to check everything, also didn't forget to double-check if I watered the plants or not.

I looked at the desk, which had azaleas and I broke it. There was a reason why I kept Azaleas, on my desk, azaleas are his flower, his birth flower which means passion and feelings of attraction towards someone you like. It always reminded me of him, I admired it a lot, I do regret breaking it but what happened that day, I don't think I can ever heal from that. It broke me yet I am here with him, just in the name of together. I turned off the lights and went out of the shop. I locked it went towards my car.

I got inside and sighed, he is taking over my mind a lot lately, I don't want that, he just.... I don't want to be this distracted.... Why am I being like this?

I started driving my car, and started playing songs, ballads are best. They are painfully beautiful. I was humming and driving, I was feeling lights, it felt better. Music makes everything, better and it helps me to take my mind off things, I don't want to overthink and calms me down a lot of time.