HOPELESS LOVE [CHOI SEUNGCHEOL]

CH: 38

Shasha

I barely remember why I came out of Soobin's bachelorette party; I heard something when I was walking, "Seungcheol let's go" I thought I was hallucinating, maybe I shouldn't have even tried drinking in the first place; but the moment I saw everything clear, a random girl hugging him.

Yes him.

And there was a lipstick stain on his shirt, not one more than that, my bag fell from my hand. I was too startled, I didn't know he was with her, I didn't know he was here and with a girl. I felt embarrassed that I saw them and my eyes couldn't leave his eyes. Without thinking much, I picked up the bag and bowed them.

I turned back and left them, I was trying to walk as fast as I could, I didn't know why I felt a pang in my chest when I saw a random girl in his arms, I was feeling sick, sad, betrayed and confused. These emotions, which were only for me, I didn't want to show these to anyone not even to him, when he was the reason.

He was here with a random girl tonight.

My head was starting to hurt, I shouldn't have tried no matter how much soobin said, tasting won't hurt, but I ended up drinking four-five shots of strong alcohol. I was trying to be sane and walk like a human being, I can't stumble right now, I don't want to get hurt. Soobin told me the rooftop here is very nice, I needed some fresh air and a rooftop would be the best idea. I entered the elevator and pressed the top floor button, which would lead to the rooftop, as the doors were closing, I saw him running towards the elevator and he saw me, he looked at me.

I was trying to hold myself back.

After a few seconds, I reached the top floor. I walked towards the rooftop and saw the city looked so beautiful. I took a deep breath and walked towards the railing carefully. I sighed, and thought why would he do that today? And why was I the one witnessing this? I could've avoided it, he could've gone to any other place with that girl. If he was having fun with someone else then what was he doing with me? that night? that kind gesture.

I looked at the sky, a sky full of stars. The night sky looked so pretty and the city looked so beautiful. It was a pleasing sight to me. I tried smiling and looking at the city, but I failed terribly. I couldn't smile, not after what I saw.

I wanted to know, if I was his fiancé then I should atleast know what was he doing with a random girl. Why was the girl hugging him, why was her lipstick stain on his shirt, what did they do, why were his two shirt buttons, unbuttoned?

I tried closing my eyes, my emotions were taking over me, I felt like anyone could see through me right now, I was being honest, very honest. Anyone could read me if they try, I hated this.

I hate everything, the way he treats me, the way I don't want to talk about that night because it confuses me, the way we are right now, and I am his fiancé when I don't even know a single thing about him and I am here alone, probably half drunk because of that strong alcohol.

"Shasha" I heard my name. I didn't want to turn to look at him, I knew he would come.

"Shasha" he called my name and I could hear his footsteps approaching me. I didn't want to look at him, I don't want him to see me like this.

"Why are you here?" I felt his presence, I turned to look to my left, he was standing there, not very close to me but not very far as well. He was walking towards me and soon he was facing me, "Are you drunk?"

"Why are you here?" he didn't answer me, he looked at me, "Are you drunk?" I looked at him, his shirt, the lipstick stain.

"Why do you care?" he shouldn't care, he should go back to that girl, he should be with her and not with me.

"I care about you" his voice softened, I was trying not to melt, I hated the way I felt for him, and I knew it was hurting me only. Why was he doing this to me, I took a deep breath and spoke

"Why are you here, giving me hope when you don't even love me?" I hated the way I asked him, but I wanted to tell him to stop this and end this thing so I could try not to fall for him more. He was silent, his silence broke me, he needs to reply to me. I wanted to stop myself from crying but tears started falling, the whole thing I saw back there flashed infront of me, as if I was watching a replay.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, I feel like I can't do this anymore, more like I feel like I'm falling for you more, I was ready to let u go, but then I am falling again, I don't know what to do with myself anymore, and then when I saw you with another girl right now, I feel hurt, tell me how to stop this, tell me everything that happened with us that night was a lie, so that I can tell myself that I should stop or else I would get hurt, tell me, you didn't come to hug me that just because you were worried about me and no love, tell me so that I can stop"

I see him take a step towards me and hug me tight, I wanted to push him away, but his silence was killing me. I started hitting his chest, I wanted him to leave me here alone. "Go away, tell me to stop. I'm hurting Cheol" I was trying to push him but he was holding me tight. "Tell me, you met this random girl just to have fun, tell me you'll leave me and everything because 'we' are fake. Tell me to stop Seungcheol, tell me" I didn't realise I raised my voice and pushed him with all the force I had.

He stumbled back a bit, I wasn't crying in his embrace anymore. I wanted these tears to stop, I was regretting the way I told him everything, I wanted to stop but I couldn't stop. It felt like I told him everything and he can read me like an open book now.

"Shasha" he came closer and his hands were on my neck, his hand felt cold on my skin, and I felt better. Slowly his hand slides down to my hair and another hand was on my cheeks, he wiped my tears with his thumb and lifted my chin.

He was wiping the tears which were falling uncontrollably, I wanted to stop crying and wanted to hide all the emotions I had for him, his eyes were trying to read me, and he was staring into my eyes deeply.

He was still caressing my cheeks and leaned towards me.

I felt his soft lips on mine, I thought I was dreaming, and it's all because of the alcohol shots I had.

He kissed me and his fingers were still on my cheeks holding me tight, I closed my eyes and started kissing him back. His lips were so soft, he was kissing me softly and with too much of caution. It felt so vulnerable to me, I didn't know what he wanted to tell me with this kiss. Is this the answer or does he want me to stop or does he want to pretend nothing happened with us again?

I was getting breathless slowly, he stopped kissing and pulled himself back, and looked at me with those pretty black eyes. It felt like he wanted to tell me something but I couldn't understand. Our faces were so close that our breaths were hitting eachother.

After a few seconds, he leaned again and kissed me.

Author's Note:

Seungcheol kissed her? TWICE.

He didn't say anything but just kissed her, their first kiss.

And I love Jaehyun's song so much, it's just so beautiful. Also, Mingyu is back. Did you guys see what they were doing in Chicago 🫡🫡 dokyeom was having too much fun with mingyuu xD

Happy reading  :)