HOPELESS LOVE [CHOI SEUNGCHEOL]

CH: 21

Seungcheol

I felt a weight on my shoulder, I turned to look at my right side. It was Shasha's head resting on my shoulder, I took a glance at her, she was sleeping, and her hands were on her stomach. She looked like she was at peace while she was sleeping, and when my eyes went from her face to her hands, I wondered how much it might be hurting her and the fact this is a monthly thing for them, she looked in pain; she looked in pain for the first time infront of me. I had no idea when did she doze off, she's a light head; good thing that she slept while watching this, she must be tired today. I turned off the television, and took the hot pack from her before letting her lie down on the bed carefully, trying not to wake her up; I won't prefer her to sleep in a sitting position and especially today.

She was so excited to go out tonight but...

I pulled the covers to cover her fully, and then noticed her hand; her hands, I looked at her fingers, she was still wearing the ring; the ring I wanted Soobin to wear, and now Shasha is wearing. The ring which I thought Soobin will wear after I will propose to her at Jeonghan's wedding. And I had no idea what to do when Shua proposed to Soobin and she said yes to him, how could I not notice Soobin's and Shua's feelings for each other. How could I not know the feelings of the girl, whom I liked for so long? How could I miss that?

And now the ring... looked pretty on Shasha's fingers, unknowingly I was admiring it. It was the very first time I'm this close to her, I'd never been so close to her.

I kept her hand inside the cover, and she looked comfortable enough, I went to switch off the lights and switched on the night lights, because I think it would be better to keep the night light on instead of these lights. I walked towards the table where I kept my Mac and took it. After taking it, I came back to sit on the bed and covered my lower body with the covers. I looked at her, she turned towards me, I thought maybe she woke but she turned towards me and held the hem of my shirt, and she looked comfortable after that; she was sleeping peacefully.

There was a smile on my face, she looked adorable.

I had the thought to go back to my room so that she will sleep peacefully and I will complete reviewing some documents before sleep, but then I was reminded of what happened a few hours ago, the way she was crying back then. I had no idea she was scared of darkness or else I wouldn't have turned off all the lights, Jeonghan never told me neither did Soobin. I wanted to ask Jeonghan but then I wonder what if my call disturbs him if he is having some quality time with Byeol? I shrugged off the thought but I wanted to know.

I'm scared she'll cry again and will panic if I leave, after all, I told her that I will stay with her today. She became my responsibility for today, also I told Jeonghan that I will take care of her and I won't take back my words.

I have no idea, what are the things she went through but looking at her today, I felt terrible, the way she was crying and I have no idea how many times she cried like this, she looks so strong but I feel it's only Jeonghan who knows her. Being Jeonghan's bestfriend, I know how much he cares for Shasha, and at certain times, more than Soobin. Jeonghan does an amazing job as an older brother and her being the youngest in the family, I understand how he feels about her.

I look a glance at her face, there were so many questions building inside me because of today, I wanted to know. There was a curiosity inside me, I wanted to know her.

My mind went back to the time when we were in Universal Studios, I haven't seen Secretary Hwang get so friendly and interested in someone, and that also with Shasha, Jeonghan's sister. He definitely met her today and got so close to her.

More like with my soon to be officially fiancé.

I think it's time, I need to tell Secretary Hwang, about us because he is my secretary and he should know everything. I wonder if he knows Shasha or anything that happened in Jeonghan's wedding? He might know, but then...

Things are getting complicated.

I'm partially glad that me and my team handled all the articles from that day, thankfully Jeonghan kept it private and tried stopping all the articles about anyone; he was successful. I don't know what would've happened if everything came out in news, I have no idea how Shasha would've reacted. The fact I saw this side of her today, and now I wonder what are the other things I don't know and need to take care of if I planned on something that I shouldn't have, I literally dragged her in this but why would she agree to my proposal without hesitation, was that because of Jeonghan? Or was she hesitant which I couldn't notice?

Thinking about everything, I think after that day, I've rarely seen her smile, after that day, I think it was yesterday night when she was genuinely happy, the look on her face told me she wasn't tensed or sad but happy.

The last thing I would want in this world is to make someone cry who doesn't deserve to cry.

The main thing is, she agreed to the whole thing because of Jeonghan, because if she tells him someday, I have no idea what will happen between me and Jeonghan because we are best friends,most importantly the love and care he has for Shasha, he would never want her to suffer for the sake of our friendship. Jeonghan will surely turn everything upside down, he won't see anything infront of him. And then Soobin, one truth will destroy our friendship.

The last thing I would like to lose is the trust of my best friend. I could never do that. But I already did that, how could I lie to everyone, just because I told Jeonghan that I will confess to love of my life and now I can't even take a step back, I've to keep on walking.

I turned my head to see Shasha, "I know you hate hearing sorry from me, but I'm genuinely sorry. I was left with no choice and thank you."