breaking point ; mileven.

thirty-six.

"coco," el whispered as she held coco on her palms, "do you think this is all a dream? that this all never actually happened?"

coco tilted her head and el exhaled.

"i know, i know. but after everything that had happened, it's hard to believe that it's all real. and guess what coco, i haven't been taking my meds," el added which made coco hiss.

"don't give me that attitude, coco," el set coco on the table then frowned, "mike's coming back soon, how do i look?"

"i do not look dead!" el exclaimed then looked herself in the mirror, "oh fuck," she rubbed her face once she saw the tear stains and the hint of green in her eyes, "fuck," she rubbed her eyes and tried to make it go away.

she took a deep breath to calm herself down then opened her eyes again and saw her familiar brown eyes. "oh good," she went to fix her makeup and then she held her hand out to coco for her to slither back in.

"i'm fine, coco," el muttered, "and hell no, i'm not taking these shitty medication. i'm done."

"so what?" el stood up hearing mike shout from downstairs.

with a little sigh, she exited his room and listened to coco, "coco, in a way i did kill them. you know that. im not blaming myself, i actually did it no matter how i deny it," she continued before she put on a smile for mike downstairs.

"hey, you're back, did you get my ice cream?" she asked since mike said he was going to the store to grab some groceries.

karen was upstairs sleeping considering how tired she was from her appointment.

"yes, i did. i'll need to put some things in the fridge, care to help?" he asked with a gentle smile and she nodded before giving him a small peck on the cheek.

his eyebrows furrowed as he held her still. "hey, are you alright, dove?"

she nodded with the same smile, "i'm okay."

"you know you can't lie to me, dove. you're going to tell me later?" he asked with to a knowing look and she exhaled.

"you're going to think i'm going crazy. i'll tell you another day," she murmured, "the most important thing right now is destroying my parents once and for all. then i find out what happened to aunt becky and why they took me in regardless of how much they hated me."

"you went to see them, didn't you?" mike breathed out, "el, what did they do to you?"

"they did nothing, mike. you know them, they love to fuck with my head," she looked up, "mike.."

"yes, el?"

"it won't be selfish of me to put emerson last, right?"

"no," he shook his head, "no it wouldn't be."

she nodded then looked behind him, "i'll go grab the rest of the food." she said then walked past him towards his car as he stood at the front door watching her.

he just wished he could actually save her for real. to have her safe and happy forever and to wipe that expression of her face that never left regardless of how happy she was.

the expression that expressed how soulless she was.

*

"want some food?" mike asked as he walked into his room and found el cuddled on her side.

she shook her head, "i'm okay,"

"you haven't eaten since this morning." he walked closer into his room and then sat at the edge of the bed, "here, take a few bites." he showed her some noodles and helped her sit up.