'StarClan's Gift'

Grieving

I closed my eyes tightly,letting out a soft sob.

I pushed my nose into Honeyspot's fur,breathing in her scent one last time.

She smelt like blood and dirt,it wasn't like her usual rose-y smell.

Cloudedgaze was crouched beside me,her blind eyes closed and her tail curled around her paws.

Cloudypaw was currently resting in the medicine den,but Ferretcloud wasn't sure if he would make it.

Hornetstar rested his tail on my shoulder. "I'm extremely sorry,Gingerpaw."

"I-it's not your fault...if it's anyone's fault it's mine."I shrugged.

"No,"He meowed fiercely. "It is any cats fault but yours.You stuck with her during the walk through the woods,without you,Cloudypaw might not of gotten away from the badger too."

I just gave a tiny nod,feeling that I didn't deserve any praise.

I let the badger kill her,I didn't help defeat it,and I didn't jump to protect my brother.

My own brother.

Not that that's what he thinks he is to me.

Ferretcloud padded out of the medicine den,sorrow and grief written on his face. "Sadly,your brother died of blood loss."

Then I heard a tiny crack.My heart.
And the world seemed to freeze around me,not a sound in the air.

He was dead.

And so was Honeyspot.

And it was all thanks to me.

I let them die.

I killed them.

Then the world started moving again and I was running out of camp.My lungs burned and shouted desperately to stop and breath in some air,but I ignored it,pushing on until I thought I would pass out.

I collapsed on the ground and sobbed,my body shaking.

My father is gone.

My mother is gone.

My brother is gone.

My best friend,who was like a grandma to me is gone.

I have no one.

I flinched as a shape appeared next to me.

Silverpaw.

"You're not okay,are you?"The silver furred she-cat crouched beside me,licking my ears.

I could only shake my head no.

Then we just sat in silence,her licking me comfortingly and me lying there.

The birds had became silent,the forest all quiet other than the occasional distant sound of a monster driving by the thunderpath a ways away.

A golden leaf floated down from the trees,its shimmery,soft edges glittering in the sunlight.It landed in front of my face,and I stared at it,lost in its beauty.

Suddenly I saw my reflection staring back at me.

Surely I wasn't anywhere near as beautiful as this gold leaf?

Silverpaw must not of seen it,for she was curled up beside me staring into space.

Then the leaf got caught in the wind,and floated away amongst the trees.

"We should head back,it's getting dark."she meowed,seeming very concerned for me.

"Okay."Was all I mumbled.

We got to our paws,slowly heading back to our camp,silent the whole way.

~~~

It had been a few moons since Honeyspot's and Cloudypaw's deaths,and I was feeling a bit better.

Hornetstar decided to give Cloudypaw his warrior name,since he deserved one,although I don't know what he did to deserve it.It was Cloudyfang.

Nightkit became Nightpaw,and was apprenticed to Frogwhisker.

And Basilfur,a brown she-cat,became pregnant with her's and Hawkbelly's kits.

The Clan was doing good,no sickness had entered the camp.

But I was still slightly depressed.

I curled up outside the apprentice den,resting in the shade of a tree.

Silverpaw padded over with a fat mouse stuffed in her jaws.She dropped it beside me and sat down. "Here,eat."

She had been taking care of me since ... that day,and I was extremely grateful for her.

I shook my head. "I'm not hungry."I pushed it away gently.

I had lost my appetite,not feeling the need to eat.

What's the point?

Silverpaw glared at me,concern deeply showing in her gaze. "No!"She cried. "You must eat! You can't just die! I won't let you!"She shuffled her feet. "There has been too many deaths."

Silverpaw forced me to eat,shoving a piece of mouse into my mouth than massaging my throat for me to swallow.

I nearly choked on it.

Silverpaw seemed slightly satisfied with that,and sat down beside me.
"What are we going to do with you?"She sighed.

-

Next chapter..Done!

Blart.