Unexpectedly Attached To You

Chapter 20

Noong nakauwi kami, I didn't know what to expect. I just knew I wanted to go straight into my room and no one will ask questions kasi kakauwi ko lang. And that is exactly what happened.

May part saakin na hinahanap yung kuya ko but I knew staying out of his sight was one of my best choices right now.

Pero dahil curious ako kung nag-alala manlang siya saakin, I decided to go through my messages from the past 3 days.

I saw messages from both my parents and Noah. Pero galing sa kuya ko? Wala. Kahit isa.

He is still mad at me...

Naisip ko din na mag-sorry sakaniya pero I still think na mas may kasalanan siya saakin. Tataasan ko na yung pride ko. I miss my brother. Hindi itong tinitiis ako. Yung brother ko na titiisin lahat para saakin.

Gusto kong intindihin na may pinagdadaanan siya, pero sana subukan niyang intindihin din ako.

"Sinu-sundo ka nung Noah dito kahapon." Pambabasag niya sa train of thought ko. "And kanina."

Gusto kong magsalita. Ang dami kong gustong tanungin. But I couldn't. The words couldn't find their way out my mouth.

"I told him you were gone. Sinabi ko na din na hindi ko alam kung nasaan ka. Kasi totoo naman diba?"

Here it comes.

"Hindi ka nagpaalam. Why?" He waited for an answer pero wala siyang natanggap. "Nagpaalam ka kay Anthony, pero saakin hindi?" There was a long silence between us.

"He comes back into our lives out of nowhere and now you don't need me anymore? Tatay mo siya, I know. Pero wala siya nung kailangan mo siya. He wasn't there noong una kang nagsalita, naglakad. He's a stranger. Pero ngayon mas pagkakatiwalaan mo siya kaysa saakin?" He continued.

"It's not like that. Sana intindihin mo 'yung sitwasyon namin." Mahinang sabi ko.

"Are you saying na sarili ko lang yung iniisip ko? Lia, for 17 years inalagaan kita. Inalagaan ko si mom. Ako yung sumalo sa lahat ng responsibilities niya. I had to watch him leave. Hindi ikaw ang nahirapan dahil umalis siya. Ako 'yon. I did everything I could to make sure you won't feel nearly the same as I did. For your whole life Lia, pinrotektahan kita sa katotohanan. Not because I didn't want to talk about it, but because I didn't want you to feel incomplete. I didn't want you to feel like you weren't enough to make him stay." He admitted.

"Pero hindi ko naman kasalanan 'yon diba? I had no control over anything. I never asked you to fill in the empty space he left." I replied coldly. I couldn't help biut notice how he suddenly paused na parang he never expected to hear those words come out of my mouth

"Tell me nga, bakit ang bilis mo siyang tinanggap?" I could hear the shakiness in his voice.

"Because he's my dad." I said confidently.

"And?" Tanong niya pa pero wala na akong maisagot. "Title lang niya 'yon. But he doesn't deserve it." Tumalikod siya saakin.

"He's trying." Sabi ko.

"And I did too. It's so hard for me to accept that the two people I cared for the most, are on his side na parang wala akong ginawa nung mga panahon na wala siya. Na parang balewala lahat ng sinakripisyo ko." Mahinang sabi niya before he left me.

I didn't know what to think. Gusto kong intindihin yung nararamdaman niya but I don't want to invalidate my feelings.

I wanted another distraction. And I know exactly who I wanted to call.

____

"What brought you here, madam?" Sky asked as I strummed his guitar like I knew how to play it.

"Ang boring lang sa bahay." I lied.