It didn't take much convincing for my kuya to leave my office. Hindi ko alam kung tuluyan na siyang umalis ng building o pumunta pa siya kay Mateo. Sa totoo lang, ayoko na talagang isipin 'yon pero nasasaktan kasi ako knowing that he could go from arguing with me to being completely normal with our brother.
Pero kailangan kong i-set aside lahat ng nararamdaman ko. I already broke down once. I can't do it again.
"Tamara, may schedule pa ba ako ngayon?" I asked.
"Wala naman po. You're free for the rest of the day." She confirmed.
"Sige salamat." I thanked her before she walked out of my office.
Napasandal ako sa upuan ko. How can one day fix so many events? Paanong hindi pa natatapos 'tong araw na 'to. It's already been emotionally too much for me.
"Sorry miss, someone's here for you ulit." Tamara came in again.
Napa-hinga ako ng malalim bago tumango sakaniya para papasukin niya ang naghihintay saakin.
"Mr. Riverson. May updates ba sa sites?" I tried to ignore the fact that I literally admitted my feelings to him a few hours ago.
"Wala." He said blankly.
"May problema ba?" Tanong ko.
"Wala." Sabi niya ulit.
"Why are you here then?" I looked at him.
Nakita kong napakunot ang noo niya.
"Come on Lia. Don't act as if everything you told me earlier was just a fragment of your imagination. Hindi ko palalagpasin 'tong araw na 'to without me knowing clearly what you want of me." He took a step closer to me.
"I really wish I never said anything Noah. Hindi mo dapat nalaman 'yon. And I beg you to try and forget what I said. Forget that this day even happened." Paki-usap ko.
"Bakit? Para maitanggi mo sa sarili mo kahit alam ko na?"
"So I could stay professional with you." Tanggi ko.
"Professional? Lahat na ba talaga ng gagawin mo i-coconnect mo sa business? You told me everything earlier dahil gusto mo. But you came up with an excuse saying it's to prove your point. Anong point Lia? Anong point ng pagkukumwari mo? Wala namang ibang maaapektuhan kung magiging totoo ka sa nararadaman mo."
"Ako lang ang naaapektuhan. It's my choice not to hurt myself. Sure there are some hidden feelings, pero ano bang magagawa ng feelings ko na 'yon Noah? Anong magagawa asides from pulling me all the way down that I won't be able to get up? Walang mararating yung nararamdaman ko. So let's just please forget about this conversation and the conversations we had earlier." Pilit ko pa.
"You said you aren't scared of risking. Sabi mo hindi ka natatakot na masaktan ulit. Please stop hiding Lia. Don't switch up now. Stop acting like you wouldn't do it again. The game is over. Long over. You want me the way I want you. Ano pa bang pumipigil saatin? Wala namang mawawala sa'yo kung magt-try tayo ulit. Diba?"
I saw so much hope and worry in his eyes.
"I have so much to lose." Mahinang sabi ko.
"Sobrang selos na selos ako sainyo ni Sky noon. At first I didn't care. But when I saw how happy you were with him when I was gone, it hurt me. Nasaktan ako and that was when I realized I actually loved you. Alam mo naman na puro ako laro noon diba? I never actually felt the same with anyone else. Natakot ako sa nararamdaman ko. Natakot ako dahil akala ko 'yon na ang simula ng karma ko. Because I loved you but I felt that you and Sky had something more than what we had. I was scared of the idea na baka kapag narealize mo na mas gusto mo siya kaysa saakin, you'll leave me in the dust. Natakot ako dahil nagawa ko na 'yon sa iba and I knew it's not impossible for you to do it to me too. Kaya itinanggi ko sa sarili ko. I kissed Xelene to convince myself I don't actually love you but I did. Sobrang mahal na mahal na kita noon pero hindi ko maamin sa sarili ko because I was a coward." Paliwanag niya.
BINABASA MO ANG
Unexpectedly Attached To You
Romance#1 Keylia Zen Fernandez For Lia, everything in her life was nearly perfect. She has everything she could ever dream about. A loving family, supportive friends, a peaceful neighborhood... But what if behind everything she ever was thankful for was...
