Unexpectedly Attached To You

The Third Player

XELENE'S SPECIAL CHAPTER

"Hi dad." I carefully greeted. "I miss you so much." I smiled to myself.

Dante Abellana
Dec 23, 1978 - March 18, 2020

I brushed away the leaves that fell on his grave stone.

"Alam kong miss na din kayo ni mama." I whispered, laying next to the grave stones of both my brother and my dad.

"Lagi pa'din niya kayo binabanggit saakin. She still always tells me how she wishes she could've held Matthew for longer. And she always reminds me how much you used to love me."

I continued to stare at the cloudless sky pretending that i'm face to face with my father.

"What happened?" I was greeted by a voice.

I sat up to see Noah, my classmate looking back and forth between my brother and father's graves.

"Well, si matthew, kapatid ko, he had complications noong pinagbubuntis siya ni mama. And si dad naman..." I pointed to my dad's name.

"It's okay if you're not ready to talk about it." Sabi niya noong narealize niya na hindi ako makasagot

"Everything is still new to me. Hindi ko pa'rin maprocess yung nangyari." Bulong ko.

After that he sat with me in the cemetery and started comforting me.

"Noah." Pakilala niya pa.

"Alam ko." Natawa ako. "Sino ba namang hindi? You play around alot."

"And that means?" Tanong niya.

"Basta, ikaw yung tahimik na madaming babae." I laughed.

_____

And after that day, pinaramdam saakin ni Noah na hindi ako nagiisa. He gave me comfort and he provided care kapag walang wala na ako.

He was there when I had nearly nothing. Nandoon siya nung mga oras na walang kahit sinong tumatanggap saakin. He looked past my flaws and made me feel like I was somehow not empty inside.

And the little things, ihahatid-sundo niya ako sa school, dadalhan niya ako ng pagkain, and besides that, he knew all the right things to say at the right times.

I thought what we had would last. Kahit na hindi ko alam kung ano talaga ang meron kami. I didn't ask for more. Nakuntento na ako na kasama ko siya.

Akala ko ganon din siya sa'kin. I mean, we were at the point where I met his brother.

_____

"Anong nangyari do'n kanina?" He asked me as we were sitting on a bench looking back at our classroom.

"Saan?" Balik tanong ko habang ngumunguya ng pagkain.

"Do'n kay Lia. Sa door? You were arguing." Tahimik lang siyang naghihintay ng sagot ko.

"Lia doesn't like me. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Basta, grade 3 kami no'n, nahihiya ako makipag-usap sa mga kaklase ko no'n kasi feel ko hindi ako belong. Everyone was rich, they had fancy school supplies tapos ako, tigse-syete pesos lang na ballpen meron ako. Isa na doon sa mga rich kids si Lia." Mahabang paliwanag ko.

"That doesn't explain anything." Natawa siya.

"Right, so never niya ako nilapitan o kinausap ng maayos. I felt like she used to talk shit about me pero hindi ko yon pinansin kasi sabi sakin ng dad ko na wag ako maapektuhan sa gano'n. But my mom adored her. Hindi kilala ni mama si Lia, personally. Ang alam niya lang, maganda siya, mayaman, mabait 'daw'. My mom compared me to her everytime na magkamali ako. Kaya siguro I grew to look at her as someone na mas mataas saakin. Maybe I envy her for it, kahit alam ko na hindi niya kasalanan 'yon." Tuloy ko.