Unexpectedly Attached To You

Chapter 38

It took me days, if not weeks of thinking. Mainly because I was scared. Pero alam ko naman sa sarili ko na kahit walang sinabi si Noah, gusto ko pa'ding kausapin ang kuya ko.

So I spent those days trying to shake off my nerves. I've also found myself facing him but not being able to say anything.

But this morning, I woke up and I felt like this was the day I will try to make up with him.

I will put aside all the things he has told me and think about all the times I wasn't supportive of him. Just so I don't snap at him.

It was early in the morning and I knew he was still home.

I went across the hallway from my bedroom to his. I took deep breaths with every step and I took a few more as I stood in front of his bedroom door.

I knocked three times then unknowingly started fidgeting with my fingers.

Once the door opened, I immediately watched as my brother's facial expression changed from just fine to somewhat... irritated.

"Anong kailangan mo?" He asked with his forehead creased.

"I need to talk to you." He his looked at me with the same expression. "Please kuya." I said gently.

I saw his expression change once again.

"Wala tayong kailangang pag-usapan. You're a stranger to me, remember? So don't come knocking on my bedroom door and acting like I care." Balik salita niya saakin.

I knew this was coming. I knew that it wouldn't be easy.

"Please. Just this once?" I pleaded.

I never pictured myself here, in front of my brother, begging for a portion of his time. I used to be given it without any questions. But now, it's not even nearly as easy as how it used to be.

"I'm busy. Kung hindi mo pa nahahalata, may trabaho pa ako." He said as he gestured to the scrubs he was wearing.

"Please." Ulit ko pa.

"No." Sabi niya at nilagpasan ako. He was heading towards the stairs.

"I'll leave." Mabilis na salita ko. He turned his head to look at me. "Just talk to me just this once and i'll leave. Hindi na ako magpapakita dito. You won't ever hear from me, see me. Just please talk to me kuya. Or at least just listen. I just need you to listen now please." I said on the verge of crying. My eyes felt warm as they began to be filled with tears. The heavy feeling in my chest made it so hard for me to breathe. But I kept my composure, or at least I felt like I did.

"That's not enough." He declared before turning around again.

"What's enough then kuya? Ano pa bang magagawa ko? I can't give you anything. Walang wala ako. I can't give up anything else because there's nothing." Habol ko.

"Give it up." Derektang sabi niya.

"What?" Kumunot ang noo ko.

"Give the company up. Give it to Theo. He deserves it. Give it up."

Natulala ako.

I can't.

I stood on the stairs just staring at him as he waited for me to respond.

"You proved nothing to me Lia. You're still the incompetent girl you used to be. Kahit ilang taon ka pang nawala, you're still the same. Look at you." Diin niya bago tumalikod at deretsong lumabas.

Once I heard the door shut, napaupo nalang ako sa hagdan.

Nothing can explain the pain I felt the moment those words became imprinted in my mind.