You Know I'll Be Your Life (1D)

Chapter 29: He's Gay....

JAMIE'S POV

TWO DAYS LATER

Still recovering

I knew that I was being almost childish by avoiding Louis like the plague but at the same time I was scared when he was in the room. I spent most of my time in either my room or Devyn's and we had become really close. Oh, you guys remember Ian? Yea, well we've been talking a lot more recently, and he's taking me on a date to the movies this Friday night.

Anyway, back to the situation at hand. I showed Devyn Black Veil Brides and she seemed to enjoy them almost as much as I did. She surprised me by saying that she had heard of them before, but hadn't bothered to listen to them much.

We were now sitting in her room watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower. "The step-brother's gay," I stated soon after he came on screen. I hadn't seen the movie before, but his actions seemed to say that he was.

She also hadn't seen the movie, and denied me. "No way, he's not gay, I mean, it doesn't matter, but he's not!"

A few scenes later, when Charlie catches him and the quarterback kissing, I give her an 'I-told-you-so' look. She rolls her eyes and throws a piece of popcorn at me.

The movie was over now and we were going downstairs to have dinner. I took a deep breath. This would be only the third time I had seen Louis since... the incident. The boys had done a pretty good job of making him leave the room or something when I was there. But now I had to sit at a table and at like nothing was wrong.

This was going to be hard.

We walked over to the table and I saw Liam walk out with three plates in his hands. Zayn was behind him, four plates in his hands. We sat down and Niall and Harry came in from the living room. All that's left is Louis.

He walked in and I stared down at my plate. He took his seat, the one across from me, and I feel his eyes on me before he said something to Liam. At the sound of his voice my hands clenched in my lap and flashbacks flew through my mind.

Zayn, who was sitting next to me, noticed my change in posture and placed his hand on my back. "Relax, he won't hurt you again, not with us here," he whispered in my ear. The words did little to soothe me, however, and I found that I was having trouble breathing. Curse you, panic attacks. "Shhhh, listen to me, just breathe, in and out," he said again.

Ever since that one time, so long ago, when they pulled me on stage, Zayn was in charge of helping me manage my panic attacks. What can I say, he managed to help!

Back to the present moment in time, I focused on controlling the breaths I was taking into my lungs. I settled down and looked up to see all of the boys looking at me worriedly. My eyes met Louis'. He could have had so many different emotions that he was feeling, whether it be compassion, guilt, or something else, I would never know. The only thing I could think was that he hated me, and I didn't know why.

I got up from the table and ran upstairs to my room. I could eat later, if I felt hungry. I laid back on my bed and put in my headphones, playing my SWS and BVB playlist.

It had been about a half an hour when I heard a knock on my door. "Come in," I called out, pausing my music. Liam walked in.

"Hey, what are you doing up here?" he asked, sitting on the edge of my bed. He had taken the role of my "father" in the past two days.

"Just listening to some music. Two new bands I found."

"Could I?" he asked, motioning to my now-abandoned earbuds. I nodded.

He hit play on my iPod and 'We Don't Belong' by Black Veil Brides started playing. He looked up at me in surprise as he saw the album cover. I shrugged and watched his reaction to the music as it continued to play.