Joey: I take care of my employees!
Sammy: ... Why don't we have fire extinguishers or first aid kits?
Norman: Why in the employee handbook under "Safety precautions", axe and imagination are the only things listed?
Wally: Why is there bacon soup but no bowls, spoon forks, or a way to cook it?
Joey: ... I take care of my employees!
\\
Bendy: I hate Alice! She said "bless you"!
Henry: ... Is this a bad time to tell you that you are both love interests in the show?
Bendy: wHAT-
\\
Wally: fruits don't live up to their names. Passion fruit, grapefruit, honeydew, dragon fruit.
Wally: you know what does?
Wally: Orange
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Sammy: If I were married to you I would put poison in your coffee.
Norman: If I were married to you I would drink it.
The studio: *wondering if this is an act of devotion or hatred*
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Wally: If you took a shot every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Jack: Maybe a bit tipsy?
Shawn: Drunk.
Sammy: Wasted.
Grant: Dead.
Joey: I would be able to see god and fight my soul.
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Shawn: "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
Grant: Opposite over hypotenuse.
Grant: Dipshit.
\\
Wally: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake?
Wally & Jack: One, two, three-
Wally & Jack: Chocolate cake, peanut butter frosting, and chocolate chunks!
Lacie: Our turn, Norman! One, two, three-
Lacie: Vanilla!
Norman: I've never had cake before. What is cake?
\\
Shawn: During a sleepover last night, I found out Wally is a sleep talker.
Jack: Oh, really?
Shawn: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.
YOU ARE READING
BATIM Oneshots ig
FanfictionCOVER NOT MINE Oneshots of any batim characters. I (mostly) do not care what pair of people you would like, what setting, AU, or anything. this is all creative freedom writing practice. Ask what ever you would like to see written! Fluff Angst This s...
