#13

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If Sammy had a sleepover with 3 other people

Sammy and Susie:

Susie: You awake?

Sammy: Yeah. *rolls over and kisses her

Sammy and Norman:

Sammy: You awake?

Norman: *flops over* Bitch, what the fuck you want?

Sammy and Wally:

Wally: *Walks downstairs* I TOLD YOU TO GO TO BED 3 HOURS AGO!!

Sammy: NO I MUST FINISH THESE SONGS!

Wally: *tries to pry him from the desk*

\\

August: *pulls norman down to noogie him while hoping not to die*

Norman: God, you're so short.

August: YOU DARE CALL ME THE S-WORD WHILE I'M 4'8?! *Grows to 7 ft* HOW ABOUT NOW?!

Norman: WHAT THE-

\\

Wally giving August a piggy-back ride: *Zooms through the hallways*

Sammy: Why do we keep August around? Wally is childish enough as he is, August is just another inciting incident.

Joey: It's fun.

Sammy: That's a demon with the mentality of a 5 year old on a body of a 10 year only what do you mean-

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Wally: So I was torn between getting black suspenders or rainbow suspenders. But then I decided to get the black suspenders because I was getting the knee-high rainbow socks anyways.

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Sammy: *writing a letter*

Sammy: Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...

And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

\\

Susie: Sammy?

Sammy: Hmm?

Susie: I-I like you

Sammy: I know, I like you too

Susie: ...

Susie: But... I like like you, ya know?

Sammy: So do I? You're one of my friends

Susie:

4 minutes later

Wally: Why do I hear yelling?

Sammy: *bursts through the door with Susie following him*

Sammy: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

Susie: I LOVE YOU

Sammy: BRO I LOVE YOU TOO BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

\\

Jack: Should we tell him?

Norman pulling a door that says push.

Joey pinching his nose: Give him a minute.

Wally recording: Pull harder!

Sammy: Bet you twenty dollars he rips the door off.

Jack: I am not dumb enough to take that bet-

Norman ripping the door off of its hinges: Got it open! Man, are the doors getting jammed a lot. Might have to fix that. This is the fourth one I had to tear open today.

\\

Sammy, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

BATIM Oneshots igWhere stories live. Discover now