#10

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Joey: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!

Abby: You left me, Henry, and Bertrum in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago.

Joey: I did that on purpose, try again.

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Henry: What did you two do?

Wally:

Shawn:

Henry: You're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

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Norman: You're such a dumbass (affectionate).

Sammy: Aww, you're such a whore (complimentary).

Wally: How are you talking like that in real life?

Sammy: Witchcraft (derogatory).

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Wally, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.

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Susie: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it's so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

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Shawn: Alcohol is delicious! ...I mean, MAlicious. Sorry guys, I'm really drunk right now.

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Lacie: I don't even use tubberware anymore.

Bertrum: What are you saying? Say it again.

Lacie: Tubberware.

Bertrum: Say it again. Slow.

Lacie: Tubberware.

Bertrum: Slow, very slow - actually, say the first syllable.

Lacie: Tub.

Bertrum: Wrong.

Lacie: What do you mean, wrong?

Bertrum: I thought I caught that. You're saying tub. It's P.

Lacie: What are you talking about?

Bertrum: Tupperware. Tupper.

Lacie: It's tupper!

Bertrum: It's tupper, always has been, always will be.

Lacie: I thought it was tubberware because it kind of looks like a tub.

BATIM Oneshots igWhere stories live. Discover now