Jack: Did it hurt when you fell-
Wally: From heaven? Wow, I didn't think you were such a flirt-
Jack: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.
Wally: ...
Jack: You just laid there for 15 minutes.
\\
Sammy: I've been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Norman: Wow. They sound stupid.
Sammy: But they're not. They're really smart actually. Just dense.
Norman: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don't know... "Hey! I love you!"
Sammy: I guess you're right. Hey Norman, I love you.
Norman: Yeah, just say that.
Sammy: Holy fucking shit.
Norman: If that flies over their head then, sorry Sammy, but they're too dumb for you.
Sammy: Norman...
\\
*The squad is playing a team sport*
Shawn: Are you upset you don't get to be on the same team as Norman?
Sammy: Have you ever played a game with Norman?
Shawn: No...
Grant: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine?
*Meanwhile, on the other side of the field*
Norman, chasing Wally: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD "FASTER" MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!
\\
Joey: Hey Henry, listen, corporate makes us do this every year, but this is just a little manager evaluation form. You just fill it out, let them know how I'm doing, you know?
Henry: Okay? Uh, "Is your manager manipulative?"
Joey: I'd say "No" to that if I were you.
\\
Wally: I'm a fool, not an idiot.
\\
Henry: Do you have a self-care routine?
Shawn: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.
\\
Jack: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Sammy and Susie's convo?
August: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.
Wally: I'm in the washing machine.
Norman: I'm in the closet.
Grant: We accept you Norman.
Norman: No, I'm literally in the closet.
Shawn: Love is love.
\\
Wally: When you've been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.
Jack: Green isn't your color.
Wally: Green brings out my eyes, you prick!
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BATIM Oneshots ig
FanfictionCOVER NOT MINE Oneshots of any batim characters. I (mostly) do not care what pair of people you would like, what setting, AU, or anything. this is all creative freedom writing practice. Ask what ever you would like to see written! Fluff Angst This s...
