Joey: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.
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Vegan worker: Plants have feelings too?! What is this? Now I can't have food!
Wally: You can eat a rock.
Grant: Air.
Norman: The fabric of time and space.
Sammy: Chugging a bottle of ink can solve all your problems.
Vegan worker: You guys are not helpful.
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Ink Bendy: How the hell are you still alive?
Henry: Honestly, I'm just as confused as you are.
\\
*Grant teaching Lacie to drive and taking Shawn along for the ride*
Grant: That's a pothole. To the left!
Lacie: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*
Shawn, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.
Lacie: I don't think that's how the song goes.
Grant, desperately gripping the handle: Please just take me home.
Shawn: Country Roads.
Lacie: To the place.
Lacie and Shawn in unison: I Belong!
Grant, gripping the handle harder: What the fuck?!
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The Prophet: Norman said it's by turn with the body!
Sammy: No It's mine!
Norman looking at the suddenly silent body in front of him: ... Are they arguing?
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Sammi: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave her a call?
The Prophet: No. No, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Sammy calls Susie. Number five: Norman gets eaten by a shark.
Norman: I'm Norman, and I approve the order of that list.
\\
Wally: Thoman is not a morning person. Or a night person. There's really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.
Thomas: The best part is you never know when they're coming.
YOU ARE READING
BATIM Oneshots ig
FanfictionCOVER NOT MINE Oneshots of any batim characters. I (mostly) do not care what pair of people you would like, what setting, AU, or anything. this is all creative freedom writing practice. Ask what ever you would like to see written! Fluff Angst This s...
