Sammy: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?
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Wally: Do you realize how long it took me to work out why Ariel's father has Seven daughters and each one represents a sea? Decades.
Jack: Which one is Ariel?
Susie: The red sea, have you seen her hair?
Sammy: Then which is the dead sea?
Norman: Their mom.
Sammy: Go to your booth-
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Grant: Biology says you are 7% blood.
Grant: Chemistry says you are 70% water.
Grant: Physics says you are 7% empty space 99.9999% empty space.
Grant: Well, I say you are 100% STUPID
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Grant, looking at his reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?
Shawn: Well, that's you.
Grant: Me?! Is that what I look like?
Shawn: You don't know?
Grant: Busy day.
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Norman: *Speaking Spanish*
Wally: I know, I know.
Shawn: You speak Spanish?
Wally: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Norman speaks.
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Henry: What are you writing?
Joey: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information.
Bertrum, looking over Joey's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.
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Susie: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.
Norman: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes.
Wally: Self care is stealing someone's birthday cake just to eat the frosting.
Sammy: If you touch my birthday cake, I'll make you eat your hands.
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BATIM Oneshots ig
FanfictionCOVER NOT MINE Oneshots of any batim characters. I (mostly) do not care what pair of people you would like, what setting, AU, or anything. this is all creative freedom writing practice. Ask what ever you would like to see written! Fluff Angst This s...
