Abby: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on here?!
Henry: It's kind of complicated, but Joey-
Abby: Got it. Forget I asked.
\\
Sammy: Alright, now everyone pay attention. I have an announcement to make and I only have a minute.
Wally: Why?
Shawn: Are you in a hurry?
Sammy: No, I was referring to your relatively short attention spans.
\\
Wally: Grant would throw themselves in front of a moving car for you.
Shawn: Grant would throw 'imself in front of a moving car for "fun".
\\
Norman: Sammy, keep an eye on Wally today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Sammy: Sure, I'd love to see Wally get punched.
Norman: Try again.
Sammy, sighing: I will stop Wally from getting punched.
\\
Joey, negotiating with Norman: We have Sammy. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed
Sammy: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I'm only worth ten thousand dollars?
Joey:
Sammy: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–
Joey: SAMMY, STOP!!
\\
Grant: I know you snuck out last night, Shawn.
Wally: Play dumb!
Shawn: Who's Shawn?
Wally: NOT THAT DUMB!!!
\\
Shawn: I can' believe ya live nearby, and ya won' let anyone crash at yur place.
Sammy: You people already know too much about me.
Wally: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won't let any of us crash at your place.
\\
Wally, texting Norman: Norman! Help I'm being kidnapped
Norman: Where are you?
Wally: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Norman: I'll call Sammy.
Sammy, answering his cell: Hello?
Norman: Where's Wally? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.
Sammy: Wally? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-
Sammy:
Sammy: I'll call you back. *hangs up*
Sammy: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!
Wally: WHO ARE YOU?!
YOU ARE READING
BATIM Oneshots ig
FanfictionCOVER NOT MINE Oneshots of any batim characters. I (mostly) do not care what pair of people you would like, what setting, AU, or anything. this is all creative freedom writing practice. Ask what ever you would like to see written! Fluff Angst This s...
