Deadly Silence [HS]

chp.20

*tw:panic attack

This is a double update make sure you read chp 19 beforehand!!!

~Morrigan~

So I fucked up

Like fucked up big time

I was sick of James and his idiotic mind games. I was sick of sitting in my room terrified waiting to see what his next move would be. And I let it effect me and essentially ruin me.

I let it consume me and I shouldn't have.

It's slow at the moment but since getting out Niall has been convincing Harry to let me out more, it wasn't doing me any good being locked away in my room anyway.

They found that out the hard way

Literally

In all seriousness I'm doing better I'm still fucked in the head but I guess you could say I'm more open about it now because they've seen all the bad shit so far. Even when I didn't realise it they were here.

Now I'm just trying to find a way to separate the two. My past and my now.

Niall has been my delegated babysitter these past few weeks since I've gotten out of hospital, it's been I little chaotic to say the least. Harry is not too impressed with him.

I have formally been introduced to the Zayn after meeting Davina, who has been my second babysitter seen as Niall banned Harry from being the babysitter said he was being too much of a Debby downer and I needed joy in my life something he didn't have.

Me and Davina have gotten on really well. We went out shopping last week and then we had dinner at this really cute Italian. Garlic bread *chefs kiss*. Niall had given Davina Harrys card, which I tried to decline using but she told me Harry didn't mind and anytime I put something down she would just pick it right back up anyways. It was a really good day, I let myself be happy for a few hours.

Niall and Harry disappeared on Wednesday all day with no word for me. I woke up to find Davina on our couch and got startled. We went out for breakfast I got French toast with maple syrup and a tea, Harry got me into drinking them. That was the first time I ate breakfast out in months it was kinda weird being in a normal setting.

I never realised how isolated I was when I was with James, since getting away yes it's been hard and yes shit has happened but I'm starting to see how much of life I've missed out on. I know it's only been a week of being out and about but for me this was a huge change.

Chilling by myself eating a bowl of vanilla ice cream I'm sitting watching another episode of friends just waiting on Niall and Harry to get home D just left.

I hear the sound of keys in the lock jangling, it opens and I hear Niall's contagious giggles coming through and Harry lets out a huff. With a small grin on my face from Niall's giggles I get up pausing the tv and go to greet them still holding tightly to my ice cream because if I put that down someone in this house will eat it when I'm not looking. I hear the door shut and their clothes ruffling as they take of their jackets.

I get to the hallway where the boys are and go to say hello but before I do Niall says in a joking matter  "Honey I'm Home!"

My body freezes my eyes bulge from my head, I drop the bowl that was in my hand and I hear it smash to the ground. This causes there attention to turn and look at me Harrys face is full of concern and Niall's too.

I'm trying to convince myself that he's not here. He isn't, why am I letting it get to me, it was just Niall messing. But I can't my breathing picks up in a frenzy and tears fill my eyes, I didn't even realise I was crying till the saltiness met my lips.