Deadly Silence [HS]

chp.43

*Tw: past trauma

Morrigan

He doesn't mean that does he?

Maybe he thinks I'm someone else?

It has to be the exhaustion, he's too tired to be making sentiments like that

That calm feeling I had minutes ago, gone in a split second. He only said those words at least a minute ago but it feels like a whole eternity. Hours have passed, days, weeks, months in my head as I think this through. Why would he be in love with me? I know we have a connection of sorts but there has never been a label put on anything, so how can he love me without a title.

Not only love without a title but love me. I'm nothing special.

My body has stayed completely rigid, not daring to move. Deep down I know he's not asleep yet but I am hoping and praying something will just come over him and he will fall instantly asleep. Like magic fairy dust, the pretend stuff I would sprinkle on my class back when I was allowed to teach.

"Mor" he says softly but I don't answer staying quite unsure what to say in return

"Please pause what is going on in that pretty head of yours. You don't have to say it in return. I just don't think I could go another day without saying it out loud. This tip toeing that we are doing, the back and forwards. I know, I just know. I've known a while and I don't know why I haven't said it out loud till now" he rambles to me

"Why?" I directly ask. I still don't get it firstly why me and secondly does he actually love me. It's a phrase I'm used to hearing, it was a regular excuse for me to hear

'I'm sorry you know I love you right?'

'I didn't mean that. I love you Morrigan'

'Honey I'm home, did you make dinner? Because I will love you more if you did'

'Why are you flinching at me, I love you Morrigan I would never intentionally hurt you. Only when you are being disrespectful'

'Honey I'm gonna finish, I love you so much Morrigan'

"Darling, I love you because you are intelligent, ambitious, extremely capable of anything, compassionate, brave, courageous, sensible, you put everyone before yourself all the time, you're funny and witty they're just some words I can think of to describe you Love. You are so much more than words though, I'm proud of you and everything you have accomplished and achieved and I always will be. I'm amazed every day by the way you're able to face the days that are so shitty I know I would lie in bed for. I'm in awe of how beautiful you are and so what I'm trying to say is I love you because you're you, and I love every bit about you faults and all" I burst out crying not in a disappointing way at his words. It's just hearing him alone admit the true reasoning behind what he has said means so much to me and he knows this. I know he's thought this through when he wanted to spit the words out.

That is one thing about Harry no matter how much he has told you that he hasn't even thought about it or how he didn't realise what he has done. He's strategic and logical and never wants to throw too much at you, now saying that he does blurt shit out every now and again. It's good when we all need a laugh.

He cuddles his head into the crook of my neck to get closer to me through my tears. He doesn't have to say anything. I know and he knows. We comfort each other. I rake my hand through his curls to try and pull him even closer than he already is. I feel like we are always trying to get as close as we possibly can but close is never close enough.

So we hold one another the best we can.

"Let's get some sleep M hmm" he hums into my neck and my tears settle