Timelapse of Catastrophe (Solis Occasum Series 1)

Kabanata 29

Kabanata 29

Stay

Nangusap ang mga mata ng bata nang tumingin sa 'kin sandali.

"It was you and Tatay because..." He bowed his little head down. "I don't know. You both act really well..."

"Sho..."

"I really thought that having a happy family is cool and... happy. But, no. Having a family who treats each other naturally is."

By the time my son said that, tears immediately escaped from my eyes. I tried to pursed my lips but, I'm too weak to move. I was so afraid...

"Papaano mo nalaman ang lahat ng 'to?" Mahinahon na tanong ko sa harap ng bata.

"Ate Martina told me."

Sho helped me to wipe my tears using his little fingers.

It's always Martina. It's always her. Ang parating nakapagtatapat ng ganito sa batang nasa harap ko. At ang mas nagiging magulang kaysa sa 'kin.

"I'm sorry..."

"You're not happy anymore." Nakikiusap na tinig niya. "Why didn't you tell me, Nanay?"

"I'm sorry... Sorry." Anak... "You're too young for this."

"I'm young. I'm still little. But I want to understand everything na, Nanay." Mabigat na huminga ang bata. "I know na... it's bad kapag nakikinig sa usapan ni Nanay and Tatay. But I want to help you, even though those are just little things..."

Narito na ako sa puntong ito. Magsisinungaling pa ba ako? Dumating na ang araw na kinatatakutan ko... ang mag-isa niyang malaman ang lahat sa pagitan namin.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, anak, that we need to lie for you." I whispered again.

Sunod ako na napahagulgol sa harap niya habang nakahawak sa dalawang maliit na kamay. I can't believe it... I can't believe myself.

"No, it's okay. I'm good now, Nanay. I'm not sick anymore and I promise that I will become stronger." Nanghihina ang ulo ko nang tumango habang nakayuko. "But, if you're not happy with Tatay, then you should quit pretending. It's okay if you choose to separate ways..."

"You know, before, me and your Tatay were good friends since we were in grade school." I smiled bitterly as I continued to talk about our early relationship.

"I was a student leader, the Vice President of the Supreme Student Government of our school, to be exact. While Yael-- your Tatay Siel, he's one of the most artistic and the coolest member of a dance group on campus."

"You heard it right, he's n-not a singer or a member of a choir. He's a member of a known dance trope. But because of some instances, nagbabago naman ang pangarap. Kung hilig niyang sumayaw n'ong nasa paaralan pa lang kami, ngayon ay kumakanta na siya sa teatro. Kung naging regular na sa araw niya ang maging backup dancer ng isang performer d'on, pakiramdam ko ay 'yon ang naging daan para mapunta siya sa career niya ngayon, sa pagiging direktor at manunulat."

"He showed me that you can hold onto some dreams while you're still young. Some dreams stay with you. But most of these will be gone or will be replaced by another one..." I heaved a sigh. "Just like in love and trusting someone."

No matter what, some of your loved ones will be by your side. Some of them will choose to leave, and it is always your decision whether you will replace them in your heart or not. And if you don't, you will give yourself false hope against the fact that they no longer have a reason to stay with you. Gan'un din sa pagtitiwala.

"Palaging magkatugma ang dalawang 'yon, hindi maaaring mawala ang isa dahil kulang na kulang ang pakiramdam. Mas maganda kung may dumadagdag, tulad ng ligaya sa isa't isa at pag-asa," paliwanag ko sa anak ko. "It's always the same thing. Sometimes, may mas minamahal ang isa o mas pinagkatitiwalaan pa kahit na nar'yan ka naman sa tabi niya. O kahit hindi ka umalis o nawala sa kanya..."